Repairing the break
by revchick86
Summary: Set 7mths after the Series Finale, Rory returns home to Stars Hollow in an attempt to mend her broken heart. Logan is still in California with a rising career. Will they find wholeness without each other? Or will they find healing together again?
1. Broken life, Last contact

**A/N: So this is my first fanfic. It is a Rogan fanfic. Set seven months after S7 finale. I will be writing true to character (as true as I can be to them). Hopefully giving Rory and Logan the ending their love deserved. I'll also be writing from both Rory and Logan POV. Chapter one contains some flashback scenes; they are direct lines from the show. I have added some of the characters thoughts to them in hopes to make it possible for the flashbacks to stand alone if you hadn't seen the scene's play out on the series. Stay with me I promise this chapter is the only one with flashbacks. Friends reading new to GG so they needed to know how this all started.**

**Disclaimer: I do Not own Rory, Logan, Lorelai, Luke, Richard, Emily, Christopher, Honor, Mitchum, Shira, Colin, Finn, Stephanie, Paris, Doyle, Lane, Zack, Brian, Gill, Michele, Sookie, Jackson, Taylor, Miss Patty, Babette, April, Jess, Kirk, Lulu, or even the town troubadour. I do not own Gilmore Girls that belongs to the one and only creative mind of Amy Sherman Pallidino. To whom I bow and humbly say, "Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!" Now if you made it past my entirely too long disclaimer, in which I babbled like a Gilmore…enjoy. **

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**RORY POV:**

I sat on the cold hardwood floor next to my bed holding tightly to the one item in my jumbled mess of a room that truly mattered. I ran my hand down the smooth surface of the silver rocket fighting back tears that were inevitably forming in the corners of my eyes. It was broken, as was the love and the life it represented, broken possibly beyond repair. My heart felt the same way. Come to think of it I'm quite sure that's the general state of my entire life these days, broken beyond repair. What had become of me, strong, independent Gilmore? I surrendered to the silent tears while my mind took me back to the night it all went wrong, the night of my graduation party. It is a night I'll never forget. It is forever burned in my heart and soul as the night of my greatest regret.

_Logan called the room to attention following my grandparents endearing and utterly mortifying sing-song celebrating my Yale graduation. "If I could I'd also like to say a few words about my girlfriend of the past three years. You amaze me Rory Gilmore, everyday, everything that you do, everything that you are. This past year I've realized that I don't know a lot more than I thought I knew." _

_What? What did he just say?_

"_If that even makes sense? I'm sorry, I'm a little bit nervous. I didn't think I would be. What I'm trying to say is that…I don't know a lot, but I know that I love you, and I want to be with you forever… Rory Gilmore, will you marry me?"_

_To say I was shocked would be an utter understatement. _

_"Umm… Ah, wow…Umm, wow. I. Wow." _

_Where had that come from?_

"_Is there a yes between those wows?" _

_He looked at me eyes full amusement and yet somehow I managed to see an underlying fear hidden in them. Is there a yes? There has to be. This is Logan asking you to marry him. Asking me to marry him? Oh God, where did that come from?_

"_Umm…I'm so, so surprised. I just, I umm. Will...will you come talk to me outside?" _

_Why couldn't my mind grasp what had just happened? And why couldn't a Yale graduate formulate a perfectly coherent sentence?_

"_Yeah. Okay." _

_He worked hard to skillfully hide any worry or disappointment he might have had. We made our way out the side door and into the cover and privacy of night._

"_Sorry. I just, I didn't want to talk in front of everybody."_

"_No, I completely understand."_

_Then I noticed the horse and carriage. _

_"Is that?"_

"_For us. Yeah. I'm sorry I know you said you were over big gestures but that's what wedding proposals are, and tonight with your parents here, and your grandparents I just thought-"_

"_No it's not the size of the gesture. It's the gesture itself."_

_He took a deep breath and gave me his signature Logan smirk and as usual my heart melted seeing it. _

_"Rory, I got the job out in Silicon Valley."_

"_What? You did? When?" _

"_Well they offered me the position about forty-five minutes into the meeting, but I just wanted to save the news until after I proposed."_

_"Wow. You've been thinking about this for a while."_

"_Yeah, back when everything was up in the air businesswise I realized as long as I had you I'd be okay… You would love Palo Alto, Rory. We could go hiking in the Dish on weekends, biking at the bay lands."_

_I laughed. _

_"Wow. California me sounds really athletic."_

"_Coffee drinking on University Avenue?"_

"_That's much easier to imagine."_

"_I went exploring a little and there is this house that we could rent. It has a back yard with an avocado tree."_

"_I like guacamole." _

_Where did that come from? I mean I know the whole avocado thing, but so not the time to make small talk about dip. __Somehow he understood and lovingly granted me another smirk. _

_"And it's only thirty-five miles south of San Francisco, just a straight shot up the 101."_

"_Wow, you've done a lot of research." _

_He's really thought about this. He's thought about it a lot._

"_Yeah, you could work at the Chronicle or the San Francisco Bay Guardian." _

_Both were good options._

"_Wow. Oh, it sounds…amazing. Logan, it sounds wonderful I just I don't know, I mean you've had time to think about this and research newspapers, and it's so sweet, and wonderful, and just I'm-I'm hearing about it for the first time."_

"_So are you saying in the past two years you never thought about marrying me?" __He asked me with a smug smile written on his face. He knew the answer before I'd even voiced it. _

"_No, of course I have!"_

"_And?"_

"_And it's a really wonderful thought, but it was always hypothetical."_

"_I know, for me too, but then it hit me why wait? Remember when we were in the Life and Death Brigade and we stood on top of that tower and we held hands and we jumped? Let's do that again, Rory. Lets Jump."_

"Rory?"

I was beyond grateful to hear my mother's voice break through the bitter memory.

"Mom, I'm in here."

I'd spent the last hour and a half in my room unpacking things that had traveled cross county with me. I was finally back home in Stars Hallow. I'd spent the last seven months learning that writing for _Webpress' _coverage of the Obama campaign wasn't exactly what I'd hoped it would be. The experience was somehow lacking. Lacking in something very vital, what exactly I couldn't tell you if I tried. It was everything a young reporter dreams of. I was rubbing elbows with all the industry big wigs. I was gaining new experience and perspective every day with each city that passed. All the while enjoying a front row seat to the making of American history. What could possibly be lacking? But something was, so much so I'd respectfully resigned my position and left the campaign trail early. I thanked Hugo for the opportunity he'd given me, the opportunity of a lifetime.

"Oh, there you are kid." Mom said opening the door to my room while I made quick work of drying my tears and safely tucking the rocket under my bed.

Mom is my closest friend and we've shared every detail of our lives for years. We've witnessed love and heartbreak with every relationship we've each had, but even she doesn't know the depth of the pain I've been enduring for the past seven months. I hope and pray she never will.

"Hey, mom how was work?"

" Ehh. You know, Damn the man! How was your day daughter?"

She scans the room and then looks at me with suspicious eyes.

"Looks like you've made absolutely _NO_ progress in getting this junk unpacked."

"Mom considering you're the owner of the inn I think you just damned yourself, and I have made progress in unpacking these priceless items." I say lightheartedly while pointing to the half full bookshelf on my right.

I was hoping to somehow deflect any further interrogations regarding my lack of progress today. That conversation was something I was clearly unprepared for.

"Okay, well I say we leave your junk."

She looks at me and smiles cunningly.

"I'm sorry your priceless items, stowed away safely in their protective boxes and find some food. Mommy is starving kid. Didn't Obama teach you to feed the hungry mommies of the world?"

"Oh, darn I knew I should have been taking notes!"

Crisis avoided. I don't know that I've ever been quite so happy that Lorelai Gilmore has the attention span of a two year old child and the _"starving"_ stomach of a full grown man.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**LOGAN POV:**

I leaned back in my leather chair staring incredulously at the glaring screen in front of me. I'd arrived at the office earlier than usual this morning in order to prepare for a lunch meeting with a group of investors. I came in and retrieved my messages from my secretary. Then I sat down at my desk to scan through my emails as was my daily routine. A routine that had served me well over the past seven months, the business was excelling and the group of investors I'd be meeting with in just a few hours are exactly what we need to put ourselves at the top of our game. This meeting is essential to the growth of our company. This meeting needs and deserves my full attention.

However, my full attention is something that I currently could not give it. At least not since I'd been stupid enough to open the email that was now daunting me from the screen of my laptop. It was an email from my old friend and colleague Hugo Gray, an email that I'd been expecting since it was the beginning of the month. Days after Rory had signed on with _Webpress,_ Hugo's online newspaper, he'd unknowingly contacted me when he'd been unable to reach her. I informed him of the breakup and gave him Lorelia's number. I was however grateful to God for his small mistake. A week later I sent him an email asking him if he'd forward me a copy of the articles she'd be submitting each month. I claimed that I'd like to keep up with the campaign myself, and that I trusted Rory to present a clear and unbiased opinion. Thankfully he'd agreed to do so without even questioning my obvious and blatant lie.

For seven months I'd kept contact with the woman I once loved more than life itself through her well written articles. At times when I read them it seemed as if she were here with me sharing her experiences first hand. Telling me the stories from the campaign trail with her childlike excitement and that beautiful twinkle she gets in her eyes when she's doing what she loves. I was so proud of her, so proud of all she was accomplishing in her life. So proud that my Ace was chasing her dreams. That is until today when I found a note attached to Rory's article.

To: Logan Huntzberger

From: Hugo Gray

Subject: Article

Logan, sorry to tell you this man but this will be the last article you'll get written by Rory. She left the campaign trail. Thanked me for the opportunity. She said it was the chance of a lifetime but it was missing something for her. She said she had to go and figure out what was missing. Hope she finds it. –Hugo

_She'd left the campaign trail? Why? Why would Rory do that? I know Rory Gilmore and I know that this campaign and writing for Webpress was something she would love, something she'd be passionate about. She'd said something was missing? What could possibly be missing?_ As irritating as the mystery of her words to Hugo were the devastation of the loss of contact was overwhelming every other emotion I had at the moment. Broken, my one way of keeping her close, my one way to not lose her completely it was broken. Suddenly the weight of my loss hit me in a way I'd been desperately hoping to avoid for the past seven months. For the first time since the day I'd made the greatest mistake of my life, the day I walked away from everything that ever mattered, I was a broken man. I succumbed to the memory of Rory's graduation and drowned myself in the tears that I had previously refused to cry.

_She looked beautiful making her way to me in her cap and gown._

_"Hey, Congratulations."_

"_Thanks."_

"_Yeah, you did a great job. No tripping, no dropping your diploma." __I said light heartedly trying desperately to ease some of the tension that had surrounded us since the party her grandparents threw for her. The party where I'd asked her to be my wife, and she'd in turn asked for time to think it over._

"_No. Not anything like that."_

"_I remember when I graduated. I was a little tipsy, it's a big surprise huh? And I did trip and I reached out and grabbed the robe of Marsha Hadley who was so not the person to grab." _

_What was I saying I was babbling like a Gilmore. God I'm nervous. We both know what's looming, her decision. But what has she decided? What if she doesn't want this? What if she doesn't want me?_

"_Logan…I'm sorry." _

_And in that moment my entire world and existence ceased. Who knew a single moment could so drastically change your entire life? _

_"I can't…I love you, you know how much I love you." _

_Obviously not enough. _

_"I love the idea of being married to you, but there's just a lot of things in my life right now that are undecided and that use to scare me but now I kind of like the idea that it's all just kinda wide open and if I married you it wouldn't be." _

_Oh my God, she's saying no. She's actually saying no!_

"_So what, I go to San Francisco and you stay on the East and we see each other occasionally?"_

"_We can try long distance. We've done it before." _

_I wanted to scream. Dammit, Rory! I don't want that. London was hell without her. _

_"You really think that's gonna work?"_

"_I think it'll be hard but-"I cut her off…_

"_I don't wanna do that, Rory, I don't wanna move backwards. If we can't take that next step-" _

"_What?" _

_What is right? What, Logan? What are you doing?_

"_I mean." She stopped me…_

"_Does it have to be all or nothing?" _

_God she's breaking my heart. Why can't it be all? She doesn't want it all with me?_

"_Yeah. It does." _

_It does? Oh hell, it does!_

"_But we could at least try."_

"_What's the point?"_

_She looked away and then back to me. _

_"So?" She asked her voice slightly breaking._

"_So?" _

_Please, Rory. Please, God. Rory do this. Marry me!!! And then what was left of my heart was completely destroyed, as she handed me the ring back._

"_Goodbye, Rory."_

"Mr. Huntzberger." The buzz of the intercom and my secretary's voice snapped me out of the horrible memory.

"Yes, Janet?"

"Miss Stephens is here to see you."

_Oh great that is the last thing I need at this moment. Or maybe it's exactly what I need?_

"Thank you, Janet. You can send her in."

I shut my laptop, wiped my bloodshot eyes, and braced myself as the tall mahogany door to my office opened and in stepped Jessica Stephens.

"Hey honey." She said walking around my desk and placing her beautiful body in my lap.

Jessica is a gorgeous woman. She's tall and slender with legs that go on for days. She has a glowing California tan and light blonde hair. She has emerald green eyes that immediately draw you in. _Of course I couldn't get lost in them quite like I got lost in the all too familiar blue eyes I'd seen myself in for three years._

"Hey, Jessie." I said as I placed a soft kiss on her lips. "What are you doing here baby?"

Jessica and I had met each other at a local bar a little over a month after my move to the west coast. Within a week she'd spent the night and has spent almost every night with me since.

"Well, I'm meeting Sarah for lunch. I thought I'd stop by on my way to wish you luck with your meeting. I know you've been stressing about it for weeks but you're going to be amazing, Logan. They won't know what hit em."

She was smiling down at me and running her slim fingers though my unruly blonde hair. Not only is she beautiful but she's an amazingly thoughtful person, and extremely intelligent. She'd been a wonderful girlfriend for the past five months. _I'm lucky to have her._

"Thanks, Jess. You're great you know that?"

"Yes well of course." She said as she got up from my lap and made her way to the door. "And you never forget it, Huntzberger."

She smiled and blew me a quick kiss before turning to open the door.

"See you tonight."

"See you then."


	2. Closure?

**A/N: OMG. Chapter one was so difficult! Thank you everyone that reviewed and/or added me to alerts, I was overwhelmed by your support! I hope I didn't lose you in the flashbacks. (I have a couple of friends reading that don't know Rogan history, so I'm writing with them in mind) I promise flashbacks are behind me now and we can move onto the actual story line. Oh and I know several people have commented on Jessica, don't worry she has a very specific purpose in this story that will be played out in the coming chapters you might not hate her after all…or maybe you will? Break out the popcorn..here comes the drama!**

**Disclaimer: Do you have to post a disclaimer each chapter? I need to research that..GG doesn't belong to me! **

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**LOGAN POV:**

I sighed deeply as I stared at the black rimmed clock on the wall. One hour, that's all the time I had left to prepare myself for this meeting. I rebooted my laptop and quickly closed the email that still threatened me from my open inbox. I pulled up last month's spreadsheets and clicked print. While waiting for the documents to load I decided to pour myself a drink. Granted it was early but I needed something to take off the bitter edge.

This morning hadn't been very productive to say the least. I forced the smothering thoughts of her from my mind as I walked over to the bar in the corner of my office and reached for the bottle of scotch. While pouring it I decided to recite the names of the investors in my head, _John Callaghan, Robert Katz, Mitch Corley, and what was the last guy's name? What was it? Oh come on Logan! Damn, I'm so not ready for this meeting! Where the hell is my focus? Matthew, Matthew Richmond, that's his name. Oh, Thank God._

"Mr. Huntzberger."

"Yes, Janet?"

"Grant is here to see you."

I made my way behind my desk to collect the stack of papers that were filling my printer tray.

"Great send him in." I said as I tucked the documents securely into my briefcase.

Grant had been the youngest partner with the company until last summer when I came on board. When I arrived in June he willingly took me under his wing and taught me everything he had learned in his time with _MRU*_. He'd not only shown me the ropes businesswise but he and his wife Jenny had taken it upon themselves to make sure I got out and explored the city. Truth be told if it hadn't been for them during my first month here I would have never left the office or the apartment I'd rented downtown.

"Logan, my man. Are you excited about this meeting or what!?!"

Grant entered the room with undeniable enthusiasm. He plopped himself down onto the black leather couch in the center of the room.

"Not as excited as I should be, and oddly a hell of a lot more nervous than I thought I would be." I answered honestly as I slouched down to join him on the couch.

"What are you talking about? Logan Huntzberger, nervous? That doesn't happen."

I nodded my head and laughed at his mocking tone.

"So what's going on Logan?... Seriously man what's on your mind?"

In the seven months I'd spent in California with _MRU_ Grant had become not only a trusted colleague but a close personal friend. Needless to say he knew me pretty well.

"I got an email from Hugo today."

I sighed as I leaned forward and placed my head in my hands knowing good and well the reaction that was sure to follow my shameful confession. I hadn't tried to hide my past from Grant and he in return hadn't tried to hide his opinions from me. I sat in the same position for a few minutes bracing myself for his brute words. He'd on more than one occasion let me know how stupid I was for holding on to a girl that refused to hold on to me. I wasn't holding on. Rory said "no" and I in turn walked away. It was all or nothing. Well it was nothing actually. I knew that it was over and I knew that we'd never have the future I'd once hoped for. I wasn't ignorant and I sure as hell wasn't holding on. I'd moved on, I was in California with a company and a job I loved. I was with a beautiful woman that adored me and I was happy, relatively anyway, but whose really happy? Silence. Nothing, he'd said nothing since I'd spoken. Finally my curiosity got the best of me. I looked up to see him smiling and shaking his head. This was far from the reaction I was expecting.

"What? Don't you have something to say?"

"Why, Logan? It would be a waste of my time to do so. Seven months and you still haven't let it go; nothing I could possibly say to you is gonna change that. I've decided I'm done trying, it's pointless. You'll get over it when you're ready. You'll let this girl go when you decide too. As for me I'm done wasting my breath."

I got up to pour myself another drink.

"I'm not holding onto her, Grant."

"Bullshit, Logan."

Okay now I was getting frustrated. This is ridiculous. Just because I've followed her work closely doesn't mean I'm holding on to her. I mean I know a part of me is holding on to her but not in the way Grant thinks. I'm not upset about the loss of contact with her articles because I'd somehow hoped we'd work things out. I knew that would never happen. After all it wasn't like we'd had any real contact in the past seven months. My only link to her life had been the articles. I was upset that link had been broken because I respected Rory and I wanted to know that she was happy. Even if she couldn't be happy with me. No even if she didn't want to be happy with me. I wanted her to be happy regardless. Grant interrupted my thoughts.

"Look, Logan now is not the time for this. You've got a meeting in half an hour and it's a pretty big deal. I'd suggest you get your head out of your ass and get it in the game. Get ready Logan. I'll see you down stairs."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**RORY POV:**

"Oh my God, mother, you are insane!"

I brushed the fresh fallen snow off my shoulders and rubbed my mitten clad hands over my frozen nose. Mom had insisted we walk to _Luke's_ since we hadn't, how did she say it? Oh yeah…_"taken a stroll through the lands of grandeur in ages." _She is literally mental sometimes I mean who wants to take a stroll in the middle of a blizzard? Ok so maybe there is no blizzard but it is January and it's freezing. We'd finally made it to the diner and as the doors opened to the familiar sounds and smells I realized that I'd come home. The warm air inside was a welcoming heaven.

"Now we can officially de-thaw." I stated sarcastically as we made our way to our table.

"The road has made you soft, child. The road has made you soft." Mom said in an overly animated western movie voice.

I rolled my eyes and poked her with my fork.

" Ouch!"

"Soft huh?"I grinned evilly at her.

"Luke, coffee! Coffee! Coffee, now!" She yelled.

"Lorelia, I am literally two steps away from you. It is entirely unnecessary for you to yell!" Luke spat back while making his way over to fill my cup.

He stood next to me with the coffee pot in his right hand just beyond my mother's reach. He smirked at her, as she wriggled from side to side in her chair holding out her coffee cup and pouting like a spoiled child.

"Please sir, I want some more." She said.

"I haven't given you any yet."

"Please sir, may I have some more?" She persisted.

Luke looked at me questioningly.

"What the hell's she talking about?"

I smiled knowing he would never really understand her, not that it mattered much.

"_Oliver Twist_." I said and he shook his head as he filled her cup.

"Thank you Master, do tell Mr. Limbkins he is quite generous today."

I laughed at her antics, she never quits.

"Uhh, whatever." Luke mumbled as he walked away, leaving the half empty pot of coffee on our table.

He and my mom had rekindled their relationship and it was stronger now than ever before. They'd been through a lot together throughout the years, and I was overjoyed that they'd finally found happiness with each other. My mother deserved happiness more than anyone I knew. She'd lived her entire life for me, always putting us first. Seeing her now doing something for herself brought light into my otherwise dark world. If I couldn't be happy and be with the man I loved, at least I could be happy she was.

I looked up to see Kirk standing frighteningly close to us.

"Lorelai, can I interest you in purchasing a box of donuts for a charity I'm supporting?" He asked placing a pink box of donuts on the table in front of us.

Mom smiled at me. We both know Kirk and his never ending attempts to "raise" money all to well.

"Umm, what charity would that be Kirk?" she asked him.

"Well no charity actually."

We both glared at him with disapproving eyes.

" I know, I'm sorry! I'm just trying to raise money so I can replace the window I broke at _Doose's_ last week."

Oh, this was going to be good. Star's Hallow was renowned for its' kooky characters and the endless amount of entertainingly wacky stories they inspired.

I couldn't help but ask, "You broke a window at _Doose's_?"

"Yes, unfortunately." He replied somberly, and then said nothing more.

I couldn't take the suspense; I'd been on the road for seven months and had missed this offbeat town.

"Well what happened, Kirk?"

"Damn, Marcus." He said shaking his head violently and looking out the window towards _Doose's Market._

I was so confused.

"Who is Marcus?"

"Oh right I forgot you're new in town."

"I'm not new in town Kirk."

"Well you know what I mean. Anyway, Marcus is the new bag boy at _Doose's. _Last Tuesday while he was taking out the trash he left the back door open. Consequently, Chester got in."

"Well Damn Marcus, and wait who is Chester?"

"Oh Rory, don't act like you're new in town. You know Chester. Chester, the chipmunk that lives behind Taylor's fruit stands."

"Oh, right? Chester, of course. Go on."

_Oh, boy this was going to be really good._

"Yes, so as I was saying Chester got in and-"

"Kirk that better not be what I think it is!!!" Luke cut him off yelling angrily from behind the counter while pointing at the pink box sitting on our table.

"Oh God! Gotta go! If you still want donuts meet me in the back alley at five."

_There really isn't anywhere in the world quite like this crazy town._

I got up and took the already empty coffee pot to the counter. Luke turned and glared at me with an expression of astonishment and disbelief. Oh, Luke would he never comprehend the rate of Gilmore coffee consumption? Obviously not. I smiled, knowing just what to say…

"Please sir, may I have some more?"

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**LOGAN POV:**

I put my car in park and reached over to the passenger's seat to pick up the flowers I'd stopped on my way home to buy. The meeting with the investors had gone well. So well that we'd run over into the late evening discussing potential ventures for the coming months. On a normal day returning home late from a successful day at the office wouldn't be an occasion for flowers. However, being late today meant having to cancel reservations at Jessica's favorite restaurant. Reservations that she had made weeks ago, that was definitely an occasion for flowers. Flowers and maybe chocolate. _Damn, I should have got some chocolate too. _

I got in the elevator and took a deep breath as I pressed the button for the top floor. I was a little concerned about what exactly I'd be walking into when the brass doors before me opened and I entered my apartment. Jess had been pretty irritated when I'd called from the conference room to tell her I'd be late. _But hell if I could deal with an angry Gilmore I could handle anything. What? There she was again. God, Logan! Maybe Grant was right this morning, maybe you are still holding on. No that's ridiculous it's just because of that damn email. _

_Ding._

The elevator doors opened and I made my way to my door. I sighed and surrendered to defeat as I slid my key in the keyhole. I opened the door to soft jazz music and the most wonderfully delectable smell. I walked in cautiously. Was this some kind of trick? I tossed my briefcase onto the counter.

"Hey, baby."

Jess came up behind me and helped me remove my jacket.

"Hey, Jess?"

_What the hell was going on?_

"Oh, Logan, don't look so shocked. It's not very becoming on you."

I laughed but I'm not sure it was out of humor, I think it was more fear than humor.

"Well I'm sorry but I was under the impression I was coming home to night of silence and exile to the couch." I said handing her the flowers.

She smiled when she took them and headed off to the kitchen to put them in water. I made my way to the couch and sat down to remove my shoes and tie. She came back and curled up beside me.

"I'm not angry, Logan. It was stupid of me to be angry. This meeting was a big deal, you needed it. The company needed it. I'm glad it went well. Besides I'm sure I can figure out some way for you to make it up to me."

And there it was her sexy little seductive smile, this was turning out to be a much better night than I had planned for.

"Oh is that so?"

I grabbed her waist and pulled her into my lap placing playful kisses from her earlobe down her collarbone. She giggled with excitement and then leaned back pointing her finger to scold me.

"Logan, dinner will be ready soon. You've got to stop that."

"Dinner can wait."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**RORY POV:**

Mom headed back to work at the Inn after our lunch at _Luke's, _and I decided to spend the rest of my day becoming reacquainted with my beloved Stars Hallow. I'd visited the _Hollow Book Store_. In which I'd purchased a new copy of _Jane Eyre_. I'd regretfully left my old copy in a hotel room in Phoenix while traveling with the campaign, I'd missed it desperately ever since. I then decided to go see Miss Patty who was unfortunately slightly preoccupied at the time with the new UPS delivery man. Seems she's eyeing him for husband number five. I had even had the time to stop by the _Black, White, and Read Theater_ to catch the afternoon showing of _Cool Hand Luke._

I was on my way home now with one final stop to make, _Al's Pancake World_. I needed to pick up some tacos for me and Lane. Lane had agreed to come over tonight and help me unpack the rest of my stuff while mom and Luke were out on a date. I was grateful that we'd have the house to ourselves. The privacy was just what I needed to open up to Lane about my broken heart and messy life. If anyone could help me sort through the cloudiness that had taken my mind for the last several months it would be Lane. We had known each other our entire lives and next to my mother she was my closest friend.

I was somehow certain that tonight would be a turning point for me. I'd lived the last seven months in a heavy depression, one unlike I'd ever experienced before. I was weary of its' weight and more than ready for change. I hurried into _Al's _and back out with three bags of food, it was going to be a long night we'd need the fuel. When I arrived at home I went in and placed the food on the kitchen table and walked into my room to get changed. I was surprised to see that Lane had already made it over and was busy filling my half empty bookshelf.

"Oh, hey Rory! I didn't hear you come in."

I suppose finding someone in your room unpacking your things without you would seem strange to most people, to me it was just another reminder I'd made it home. Seems I'd been having a lot of those today.

"I know I'm early but Steve and Kwan have been fussy all day and as soon as Zack got home I literally ran out the door. I am so glad you've given me an excuse to escape for a few hours."

I laughed at her as I made my way over to settle beside her on the floor and help unpack my books. Lane had handled her unexpected gift of motherhood extremely well. I knew that one day her boys would realize how lucky they are to have such a cool mom.

"Aww, Lane, you know you can escape with me anytime!"

We spent the next hour unpacking box after box and gorging on a variety of _Al's _specialty items. Lane filled me in on all the town gossip I'd missed while I was away. When we finally reached the last box I decided it was time to start the conversation I didn't really want to have. The necessity of this conversation was the only thing making it possible for me to form the words.

"Lane, I think I screwed up."

I sat down on my bed as the weight of my confession hit me. She followed suit and joined me crossing her legs Indian style and silently waiting for me to continue. I looked at her as the tears I'd fought so hard to hold back began to flow.

"Lane, I really screwed up. I screwed up everything. I'm so unhappy and my life…my life is a mess."

I was sobbing now as I struggled to continue but I had to get it out. I desperately needed to talk about this.

"I-I don't know how to fix it or even if I can. I'm so heartbroken. I've never been so heartbroken. Lane, it hurts. It literally hurts."

I stopped to catch my breath, although breathing in general was proving difficult at the moment. It did hurt! Every part of me felt the pain and disappointment my life had become. My mind was clouded with regret and what ifs. My body ached under the weight of my sadness. My eyes were sore from sleepless nights and countless tears. And my heart, my heart held the gravest of my wounds. The pain that existed there was beyond description, words held no meaning or power in the presence of such pain. My sobbing had reached its' height as Lane got up and closed the distance between us wrapping me in her arms. She said nothing instead she just held me tightly while I cried. I don't know how long we'd been sitting when I sighed having cried as much as I possibly could. I sat up to thank her for being exactly what I'd needed.

"Lane-"

"You know what I think…"she cut me short.

"I think you need closure, Rory."

She paused as if to contemplate whether or not now was the time to have this conversation. I nodded my head urging her on.

"I just don't think you can move forward with your life, which so not a mess by the way. Anyway I don't think you can move forward until you have some sort of closure, Rory."

"I'm not sure I understand, Lane."

_What did she mean closure?_

"Rory, the way things ended with you and Logan...it…well it just wasn't right. You guys had been together for three years. You'd been through so much together, for it to end like that. It wasn't right. You don't have closure. Rory you need closure with him. He's the reason you haven't moved forward. He's the reason you're so unhappy."

She placed her hand on my shoulder and looked into my eyes.

"I think you should call him Rory."

I snorted.

"Lane, that's insane. Why would I do that? And closure? He left. He said all or nothing, and it was nothing so how is that not closure?"

I was laughing hysterically now at her insanity.

"It shouldn't have been nothing, Rory."

Her words put and abrupt stop to my foolish laughing.

"I'm sorry to be so blunt, and I hope I didn't hurt your feelings. But you made a huge mistake, Rory, and you know it. Now as your friend that really does love you and believes in you I'm telling you, you need to call him."

Tears. I didn't think it was possible for me to have any more of them, but there they were making yet another unwelcome appearance on my face. My voice broke as I formed the next words I was in no way ready to say.

"It's too late."

Lane sighed as she wrapped me in her arms once more.

"Maybe but maybe not."

Lane left hours ago and yet I remained frozen on my bed. Still taken by the conversation I'd just had with my best friend. She'd definitely help clear the confusion however what remained was a completely new form of torture. She was right I hadn't moved on. I didn't have closure, at least not the kind of closure my shattered heart so longed for. He needed to know that it should have been yes! I needed to tell him I should have said yes!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**LOGAN POV:**

I woke to the sound of my phone buzzing on the nightstand. I rolled over and untangled myself from Jess. I glanced at the clock 11:30pm. I picked up the phone and stared incredulously at the screen. A very familiar number flashed back at me, a number I hadn't seen in months. _Was she really calling me? Why would she be calling now? _

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**OMG I thought chapter one was difficult, this one was painful! *MRU is an abbreviation for the company Logan is with if you didn't catch that. So did she call him? Only one way to find out…review button below. (Yes this is a shameless author plug I swore I'd never do, but the reviews really do help the process!)**


	3. Goodbyes and Grand Gestures

**A/N: Alright guys first of all thank you for reading! You're the best! All the reviews and PM's keep me active. Secondly, I promise I will get this formatting and posting thing down. (I know I alerted you twice for my last chapter. Sorry I'm still learning.) Next, you should all know I fully intend on finishing this fic before I start fall semester so I'll be updating every couple of days, that is if Rory agrees to it...she's killing me, she only likes to share her side at 3am. (can't a girl get some sleep?) And finally, this chapter contains some history details (no flashbacks, well no series flashbacks) but character history. Remember I have readers new to our beloved GG world. (If you're one of them and you have questions PM) Well that's it...hope you enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: Yada, Yada, Yada…Amy Sherman Pallidino (Author **bows** to Pallidino's brilliance) **

_**So let's review…**_

_**(Logan)**_

_I woke to the sound of my phone buzzing on the nightstand. I rolled over and untangled myself from Jess. I glanced at the clock 11:30pm. I picked up the phone and stared incredulously at the screen. A very familiar number flashed back at me, a number I hadn't seen in months. Was she really calling me? Why would she be calling now? _

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

**LOGAN POV:**

After removing myself from the comfortable warmth of my oversized bed I grabbed my robe and quickly made my way out of the room. I closed the door behind me and stopped to make sure it was secure. I really didn't want to wake Jessica. I was a little unsure how she'd feel about this caller from my past, and that wasn't exactly something I wanted to deal with. I made my way to the living room and glanced down at the screen of my phone. I was still completely stunned by the number flashing across it. I took a deep breath and answered.

"Hello."

"About time, for a minute there I didn't think you were going to answer Huntzberger."

Well there was no questioning it now, it was definitely her. Having spent three years together it was unfortunately an undeniable fact that I'd always be able to recognize her pitchy voice and annoyingly dry humor.

"Paris?"

"No, Rome. Yes it's Paris you idiot."

_Idiot?_ I hadn't talked to this woman since Rory's graduation and now she's calling me at 11:30pm. And yet _she_ has the audacity to call _me_ an idiot? _She's the idiot_. _I really don't have the patience for this tonight. _I took a seat in my brown leather lounge chair and threw my feet up on the coffee table. I had a feeling this conversation was going to be exhausting.

"Do you realize what time it is?" I asked.

"Yes, why did I wake you? I can't seem to recall you being one for a bedtime Logan."

"Yes well I'm not in college anymore Paris."

College, that's where I had met this insane woman, who was now wreaking havoc on my night. During our time there Paris was the editor of the _Yale Daily News_, in which I'd been _somewhat_ actively involved. Dealing with her in the newsroom on the rare occasions in which I'd actually shown my face was like pulling teeth. Like pulling your own teeth, it was impossibly painful. As if enduring those moments alone weren't enough, she also happened to be Rory's roommate. And for reasons I still couldn't fathom, her friend. But as I said I'm not in college anymore and I'm not with Rory. _So why am I dealing with Paris?_

"Well I'm sorry if I woke you Logan. I didn't think…well I figured you'd still be up."

She actually sounded sincerely apologetic. I don't think I've ever seen Paris apologetic. No come to think of it I've definitely never seen her apologize, not to anyone. I don't even think she apologized to Rory for the rash decision she'd made to throw her out of their apartment when Rory was elected the new editor of the _Yale Daily News _following Paris's historic impeachment. _I guess Paris's painful personality and short fuse had its' good qualities. It was, after all, her rash decision that led to Rory moving in with me._ _Damn, Logan! Are you really gonna go there? _I decided to get up, sitting was a bad idea. I needed to be mobile to deal with Paris. _In fact, I think it's time for another drink. _

"Logan, you still alive over there? Look I said I'm sorry what more do you want…flowers, and candy?"

"No. Paris, don't worry about it. You were right, you didn't wake me. I'm just a little surprised by this phone call, that's all. I do have to ask, why exactly are you calling me?" I poured the last of the scotch in my glass then tossed the empty bottle into the trash. _Hadn't I just bought that bottle?_

"Well I assure you it's not a booty call, Huntzberger. So don't get your hopes up."

_There is a God in heaven. _I laughed nervously. I had absolutely no idea where this conversation was going. But I was determined to find out and more than eager to take this in a different direction.

"Paris? What's up?" I asked not even trying to hide the growing impatience in my tone.

"Right. Well I went to your old apartment building today to get your forwarding address and the fat lady at the front counter. You know the one that wears entirely too much make up. I mean what did she rob a cosmetic counter or something? Really if you want to wear that much face paint please do us all a favor and join the circus."

_Oh. My. Lord. _I sighed deeply already extremely exasperated by this pointless banter. I wondered if this conversation would ever find meaning and come to an end. I honestly didn't know how much more I could take. How on earth had I dealt with this woman for three years? If there was any positive to the ending of my relationship with Rory it would have to be not having to deal with this. _No, even this was bearable for her. _I frowned at the direction of my current thoughts and plopped back down in my chair. I took a drink of my scotch relishing the burn of the alcohol.

Paris continued to ramble, "Maria I think it was, yes Maria, imbecile that she is she refused to give it to me. So then I called HPG and got your fathers good for nothing secretary who also refused to give me your address. They should both join the circus. They could be the dynamic duo. People these days, I swear-."

"Paris!!" I said, just a bit too loudly, I had reached my limit. I glanced nervously back toward the bedroom door listening for movement.

" Okay, Okay. Anyway I was pretty much ready to say to hell with it when I ran into the Australian kid you always played with at Yale. You know the one that paints his fingernails. He'd probably like Maria."

"Finn."

"What?"

"Finn, his name is Finn."

"Finn said he couldn't give me an address, but he was happy to give me your number."

_What? What the hell was he thinking? Oh, he was gonna get it. He'll pay for this, I'm not sure how but he will pay. _I was temporarily distracted by various thoughts of painful torture tactics for Finn. When I realized I was still confused as to the reason for this call. _Why did Paris want my address?_

"Right, so why do you need my address? "

"I want to send you a wedding invitation."

_Oh, that's right, she and Doyle are getting married._ The wedding announcement had been big news in Hartford. Honor had already asked me if I would be attending. Of course at the time I hadn't considered getting an invitation.

"You're inviting me to your wedding?"

I was surprised by the gesture. I was even more surprised that I was somehow happy to be invited. She and Doyle were definitely the odd couple, but they were_ friends_. Well kinda_ friends_. Ok Doyle was a friend.

"That's what I'm trying to do, if you'll give me your damn address already."

"Oh right of course."

I gave her my home address as I got up and made my way to the kitchen to put my glass in the sink. I knew the conversation was ending and I was more than ready for the comfort of my warm bed and Jessica's arms.

"One more thing, Logan." She said and then paused. I had noticed hesitance in her tone. "Rory will be there. She's my maid of honor actually."

I froze. I was unable to move at all. I'd been paralyzed by her words. Of course she'd be at the wedding. Of course she'd be the maid of honor. She is Paris's best friend after all. Hell she's Paris's only friend. Why hadn't I already thought of that? My brain was functioning rather slowly these days. Rory would be there. If I attended we'd be together for the first time in seven months. If I went to this wedding I'd be face to face with the woman who refused my proposal and shattered my heart. _Rory will be there. _Paris's words echoed in my mind. I took a deep breath and realized I'd been quiet for too long.

"Right, of course she'll be there." I stated matter of factly.

"Well Congratulations Paris. You be sure to give Doyle my best and get that invitation in the mail. I'll see you there."

And with that I hung up the phone. _I'll see you there? Shit, did I really just say that?_

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

**RORY POV:**

It was incredibly late when I heard the familiar sound of mom's Jeep pulling into our snow covered drive way. I'd been sitting on our living room couch for the past hour, trying to sort through all the things I needed to say to her in my head. My earlier conversation with Lane had led me to the source of all my pain, and I now I what I needed to do to end it. I had a plan. I had to tell Logan I'd made a mistake, he needed to know I should have said yes to his proposal. Even if it was too late and he'd moved on with his life, I grimaced at the thought,he still needed to know. I couldn't live the rest of my life knowing I hadn't tried. Lane was right I needed closure but not by phone. Although I had contemplated calling him to the point of even dialing the number, I ultimately decided he deserved more than a phone call with a tear soaked voice on the other line. I needed to look into his beautiful brown eyes; I needed him to look into mine. He needed to see that I meant every word that I should have been willing to say seven months ago.

However, before I could make this confession there was one more pressing I'd have to deal with. The front door opened and mom walked in. I sighed my body was full of nervous tension, tension that had been building since I'd made the decision to talk to mom. The decision to share my heart and my pain with her. This was going to be difficult.

Mom made her way into the dimly lit living room, obviously stunned to see me on the couch waiting for her. My red rimmed eyes and tearstained shirt were a tale-tale heart beating loudly and making early confession for me.

"Aww. Mom you didn't have to wait up, I made it home by curfew." She said as she tossed her purse and keys onto the desk.

I knew she'd noticed my gloom, but she wouldn't be Lorelia if she didn't try to lighten the mood. I said nothing in response. I waited patiently instead. She sighed deeply, knowing whatever this was it was serious.

"What's up kid?" She asked joining me on the couch, and lovingly placing her right hand on my knee.

"Mom, we need to talk."

And the tears began to fall.

"Sounds serious."

"It is."

"Rory, did you get a girl pregnant?" She asked in an all too serious tone.

"Mom!" I reproved her but couldn't hide the small smile or laugh that escaped me. _My mother, ever the jokester._

"Okay. Okay. I get it." She said holding both hands up in surrender. "Serious."

"Yes, thank you."

I had to admit her humor had lightened the mood and for that I was grateful.

"So?" she asked thus marking my place to begin.

I took a moment to gather my thoughts then I began. I couldn't look at her when I spoke so I settled for staring at my feet instead.

"I haven't exactly been honest with you mom."

I paused and looked up. She simply nodded urging me to continue.

"Well, I haven't actually been honest with myself." I stopped again hearing my own words aloud and taking in the meaning of my confession.

She reached for my hand and spoke.

"Ror, whatever it is. It's okay. Talk to me kid, mommy can't make it better if I don't know what _it _is. "

"Well, it's just I'm a little worried about how you're gonna feel about me when I tell you mom."

"Mhmp."

She snorted.

"Are you kidding me?"

I shook my head.

"No. I'm not."

The tears came with a fierce new force as my words made air.

She scooted closer to me wrapping her warm arms around my weak body. Then she pulled my head onto her shoulder and ran her fingers through my messy brown hair.

"Oh, Rory, that's ridiculous. You're the light of my life, child. Nothing's gonna change that."

"Yes, I know that mom. I'm not worried about that. I know how much you love me and I know you always will. I'll never question that mom. It's just- it's just that, I don't know how you're going to feel about me, as a person, when I tell you what's bothering me." My voice was nothing more than a whisper as I struggled to put words to my fear.

She laughed and I sat up to looking at her inquisitively.

"Rory, you really don't know how wonderful you are. You are the most amazing person I know. Whatever this is all about it can't be as bad as you think it is. You are the strongest, brightest, most independent person I've ever known."

_And there it was, one of my greatest fears realized. My mom had raised me to be a strong, stand alone, find your place in this world and have impact, independent Gilmore. Independent. I was so afraid to disappoint her. So afraid she'd see my need for him as weakness. I suppose it is, after all I had spent the last seven months broken without him. How am I going to do this? How am I going to tell my mother that I'm broken? How am I going to tell her that I need a man? Or at least I needed to find peace by admitting to my greatest mistake to that man? How would I tell her I'd made a mistake? She's always taught me to depend on no man or relationship. I was far from independent. I'm the most codependent person I know. I need not only him but I need her too. _

She was still going on about all the wonderful qualities she saw in me when I stopped her.

"Mom I'm not any of those things."

She looked at me with utter shock and confusion written on her face.

"What?"

"I'm not strong, I'm not brilliant, and I'm definitely not independent."

My words became more urgent as I continued knowing if I didn't get it out now I never would.

"Mom, I don't want to disappoint you and I know you raised me to be my own person and make my place in the world but I can't –I can't make my place that is, not until I make peace with where I am now."

"And where exactly is that?" She asked.

"I'm miserable mom. I've put on a brave face for you for months. I've tried to be strong but I'm not mom. I'm a mess. My life it's a mess. I don't sleep anymore. I don't write anymore." I sobbed unwillingly as I continued. "I can't even read these days. I'm not myself mom. I'm not me anymore."

I looked at her face to see an even greater form of confusion written upon it, confusion mixed with fear.

"Mom I left the campaign and came home to try and find myself, to try and fix what's broken. But I realized something tonight. I can't fix this without, without …"

"Without him." She interrupted.

"Ummm." I was stunned by her words and couldn't think to form a reply.

"I know, Rory. I'm your mother, I know."

"But-"

"But nothing. You needed to figure this out on your own. You needed to know your feelings; it was never my place to tell you. I had to let you do this kid. Trust me it wasn't easy seeing you so hurt these last few months."

"You're not angry?"

"Why would I be angry with you Rory?"

I hesitated.

"Because you raised me to depend on no man or relationship."

She shook her head and gave me a sad smile.

"No, Rory, I raised you to go after everything you ever dreamed of. I raised you to go out and find your place in the world. The relationship thing, that's me kid it's not you. It was never you Rory. From day one with Dean I knew we were different. You found your place in this world Rory, it's with him. You should be with Logan." She paused to allow her words to take impact. "I think now's the time I push you to go after your dreams. Fix it, Rory. I want you to be happy kid."

I let out a deep breath releasing some of the tension that had been surpressed tightly in my chest. I was both shocked and overwhelmed by the words I was hearing.

"Really?"

"Yes really, Ror! I say go get him _Ace."_

I smiled at her use of my nickname and leaned in to kiss her cheek.

"I love you so much mom." I said hugging her.

"Yes well I am quite loveable." She joked and squeezed me tightly. "I love you too kiddo."

I leaned back as worry once again threatened me.

"What if I'm too late?"

She laughed and patted my knee.

"You're a Gilmore. We're always fashionably late."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**LOGAN POV:**

"Logan?"

"Logan?"

"Baby?"

_Oh God what's that sound? _I reached down to pull the blanket up over my head in hopes of drowning out the world around me, and the awful noise interrupting my much needed sleep. My head was pounding. _Wait, where the hell's that blanket? _Suddenly realization of where I was hit me. I forced my eyes open to the piercing light of the sun that was glaring through my living room windows. I stretched my arms and legs out hoping to relieve some of the shooting pain in my lower back. It was the kind of pain that can only be caused by staying in the same position for too long. A couch was under no circumstances a good place to sleep. Especially not when those circumstances included a glass of scotch, a bitter goodbye, and a now empty bottle of bourbon. My head was spinning.

"Logan?" The sound that had woke me now registered. Jessica was sitting on the coffee table in front of me. Concern clearly written in the expression on her face. "Logan, are you okay?"

_Am I okay?_ I hesitated to answer. I decided it would be best to lie. I hated lying to Jessica but I knew the truth would cause her pain. I had no desire to cause her pain. So I lied.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry I didn't come to bed, Jessie. I was up late working on some of the pitches we discussed with the investors yesterday. It seems I had a little too much to drink." I said eyeing the empty bottle of bourbon on the floor beside me.

I reached out to take her hand in my own. I looked deeply into her emerald eyes and lied again.

"Jessie, it's really nothing to worry about. I'm fine." _God, I HATE myself right now. _

"Okay." She said completely unconvinced with what I was telling her.

I suppose my blood shot eyes and general disarray would be a hard sale.

"Well why don't you hop in the shower and I'll make you some breakfast." _I really don't deserve her. Stupid, ungrateful bastard._

I ignored the raging fury I felt towards myself and remembered to put on a brave face. If I was going to keep her, which I hoped to, I had to pull myself together. I removed my hand from hers and reached up to catch a fallen piece of her blonde hair. I tucked it softly behind her ear.

"That sounds good, Thanks Jess."

As the scorchingly hot water drenched my skin I fought inwardly to wash away my memories of previous night. After ending my conversation with Paris I knew sleep would be impossible. My mind was running wild with images of seeing Rory again. _What would I say to her? Would she speak first? Would she even want to see me? _Two reminders of her in one day had proved to be more than I could take. _Maybe I shouldn't call them reminders, that word doesn't seem fitting. They are more than reminders._ Hugo and Paris were forms of contact. Contact with the life Rory now lived. The life she lived without me.

_Reminders,_ I contemplated the meaning of the word. I had simple reminders of her every day, multiple reminders actually. _The crossword puzzle in the paper. The smell of coffee when I entered the office. Hell, the smell of coffee in general._ _Vending machines full of candy. Bad jokes with dirty punch lines. A Spice Girls song on the radio. A Chinese take-out menu, Hollywood scandal stories. Classic literature, libraries, bookstores, movies. God she was everywhere. _I grabbed my washcloth and began scrubbing my face, washing away the tears that were threating to escape. I placed my left hand on the cold granite tile to steady myself as my final memories from the night shook me.

_I tried desperately to find some form of distraction. Reading had proved unsuccessful, my brain couldn't process the information I was trying to force it to absorb. Television had also been a wasted attempt. Over three hundred channels and the only thing playing after midnight featured the obnoxious Orange Glow man, surgically enhanced strippers, or Arnold Schwarzenegger. Finally I'd decided to turn to work, a timeless Huntzberger tactic. _

_I broke out a bottle of bourbon from the bar and grabbed my laptop before settling on the couch. I opened my computer and decided to check my email. Grant had assured me he'd send the investors' final proposal over as soon as it was prepared. My eyes scanned the inbox and yet the only thing I saw was the email I'd received from Hugo earlier today. I remembered Jessica's visit and realized that I'd not yet had a chance to read Rory's attached article. I hesitated before I clicked the button to download the file. Why not? What harm could come from reading the article? Over an hour later I topped off my glass finishing off the bottle, I tossed it at my feet. I'd just read the entire article for the third time. Each time the stabbing pain in my chest grew more and more violent, as it threatened to take me under. _

_The article was good, really good. It was a beautifully written goodbye to her readers. It was a colorfully descriptive tale of her ventures on the campaign trail. A real connection to her. As I read she told me the stories that filled the pages of her article. I was there with her and I was damn proud. True to Rory form it was quirky and thought provoking. To the average reader it would be nothing more than a well written goodbye from a young journalist who was moving forward with her life, onto bigger and better things. To me it was more. It was Goodbye. It was the loss of my last link to the woman I still loved. Yes, I still loved. I couldn't lie to myself anymore I'd have given anything to have her back, anything to hold her in my arms again. I was holding on I'd been holding on for seven months. That is until I read this article. I reread the last few sentences one more time, laughing through the tears that were now streaming down my face._

"_To everyone reading both near and far thank you for your continual support and unfailing faith in me. This has been the opportunity of a lifetime and I'm glad I've had you to share it with me. I leave you all now with the greatest lesson I've learned on this long journey. Live your life to the fullest and leave no room for regrets. Goodbye-Rory Gilmore"_

_It was a final blow and a grave loss. 'Live your life to the fullest and leave no room for regret.' She'd had no regrets. Her life was complete without me. She was happy and that was all that mattered. I wouldn't complicate things for her, I couldn't I loved her far too much to hurt her again. She'd healed and I would never._

_I raised my glass with a shaky hand in a tearful toast. "To life in the fullest and no regrets. Goodbye, Ace."_

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

**RORY POV: **

I returned to my room that night with a sense of peace I hadn't had in months. I now knew exactly what I needed to do. Logan was a grand gesture sort of man, he always had been. Everything from our past had served as proof to his great appreciation for grand gestures.

I smiled as I thought back on our years together and all the gestures he'd made for me. The inside scoop he'd given me, the nosey reporter, on Yale's illusive _Life and Death Brigade. _The way he'd saved me from Grandma and Grandpa's match making fiasco, and then stood by me when Dean left. The classroom stunt he'd pulled to entertain Anna, butt-faced miscreant, that he is. I laughed at the memory of Colin and Finn's participation in that one.

His generous sharing of Frank during my mom's dark hour. He'd committed, the king of no strings, and one conversation led to a title that I'd very much needed. There was the way he'd stood up for me with his parents and then he willingly endured my grandparents. His willingness, albeit eagerness, to commit a crime with me without a second thought. _I still can't believe we stole that yacht._ Then there was all the little ways he'd been there to help me through my separation from mom. I really would not have survived those days without him. The endless attempts to win me back after our first fight. I'd never seen so many flowers in my life, and really who buys someone a walking coffee cart? There was the night we'd fought side by side for the printing of the paper. Then of course his sincere offer to move in together when Paris had kicked me out. His surprise trips home from London, our starlit rooftop dinner was my favorite. Finally his grandest gesture to date, his proposal.

He was definitely a man in love with grand gestures, and if that was the case I'd give him a grand gesture. I'd give him the grandest gesture known to man. I got up from my bed and pulled out a pen and piece of paper from my desk. Let the planning begin.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**A/N: **_**Paris!!!**_** Did you see that coming? I know I'm mean but come on guys… you didn't really think I'd have their reunion by phone did you? Silly reader! (Author**ducks quickly**No, don't throw cyber tomatoes!!!) I promise it's coming soon,**_** maybe next chapter?**_**. (It definitely won't be the Paris/Doyle wedding, I'm not that predictable) Logan is saying goodbye and Rory is talking grand gestures? Where is this all going? One way to find out...(Green button below)**


	4. Not a Presley

**A/N: Thank you for all of your reviews. I'm in awe of you, really. To be honest I wasn't very happy with the last chapter. I felt like I really struggled with Rory, and by the time I'd finish writing all four scenes I was too exhausted to give it a good proof before posting. After rereading it tonight and noticing how many "deep breaths" my characters took, I assure you that won't happen again. (Author **sighs and takes a deep breath) You may have to wait longer for the next update but at least I'll be happy with my work. I've also considered shorter chapters. I think that would take some of the pressure off. You'd get regular updates and I'd get some much needed rest in between. I may experiment with that. What do you think? Now onto this chapter…Hopefully something lighter after all that intensity. Logan's bitter goodbye and Rory's grand gesture. These two you just gotta love em. Now take a **_**deep breath**_** ; ) let's see what happens. **

**Disclaimer: Amy Sherman Palladino..she's the woman! **

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**RORY POV:**

I furiously balled up yet another piece of paper and tossed it haphazardly towards the already overflowing trash can in the corner of my room. It's been almost two weeks since my night of tear filled confessions. The night I'd made a decision to do something about the unpleasant state of my life. Two weeks of planning and I sit here on my bed staring down at my lap in which rests an open notebook with a blue lined piece of paper. A piece of paper that is taunting me, it's mocking my inability to fill its' empty blue lines. _Stupid paper. _

I am frustrated beyond belief. I've got nothing. Nothing as in nip, nada, zilch. Two weeks ago I'd decided to plan some elaborate grand gesture to show the man of my dreams how much he means to me. Seems simple enough right, planning a grand gesture for someone you love? Well you give it a go. Trust me when I say it's far from simple. Of course had the circumstances surrounding this potential love display been different than they are planning might have proven quite easy. Leave it to a Gilmore to complicate things. Can't we ever do anything the easy way?

"Ughhh." I let out an exasperated cry as I rose from my bed.

I needed chocolate and I needed it fast. I made my way into the kitchen and went straight for the freezer. Whoever said diamonds are a girls' best friend had obviously never met _Edy's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream_. Yep no questioning it, _Edy_ had proven to be a much better friend to me than _Tiffany_. _Oh Edy why can't everything in life be as sweet as you? _I sat down at the kitchen table struggling fiercely with the plastic band on the new carton. I prevailed and dove in.

I heard the front door open and heels making their way across the hardwood.

"Rory?" Mom called out from the hallway.

"Kitchen."

She walked in and granted me a small smile before grabbing a spoon and joining me at the table.

"No luck, huh?"

I looked at her inquisitively.

"How'd you know?"

She laughed, and dug her spoon into the now half empty carton.

"_Edy_ told me."

_Traitor._

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**LOGAN POV:**

I shot the beige rubber band I'd been playing with for the last half hour across the center of the long cherry table. _He shoots, He scores! Got him._ Grant glared up at me with an expression that was both disapproving and amused. It was almost two and we'd been in this damn meeting all morning. _MRU_ was considering buying out a smaller company in LA. Our company had been growing at an accelerated speed over the past year and we now needed to expand beyond our San Francisco office. The next logical move was branching out into LA. This morning all the partners had been called into the conference room to discuss the legalities. Who knew there'd be hours _and hours and hours_ worth of legalities to discuss? Actually that wouldn't be so horrible if we'd actually 'discussed' legalities right now everyone was silently reviewing them. I was so bored! I mean don't get me wrong I love what I do it's just this aspect of it that I hate. The sound of my phone vibrating on the table echoed throughout the stillness of the quiet room. Six heads unanimously turned my way.

"Sorry."

It was a text message from Jessica.

_I'll be back on Monday._

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**RORY POV:**

It was late Thursday evening when we arrived at the airport. Yesterday following _Edy's _treacherous betrayal I returned to my room and without another thought began packing. After filling my suitcase I grabbed my phone and booked a ticket on the first flight available. So here we are making our way through the crowded airport toward my terminal. We arrived at the security check point.

"Rory." Mom said shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

"Yeah, mom?" I replied as I reached in my wallet to find my id.

"Promise me Elvis won't marry you."

I laughed at her word structure and frowned inwardly at its' deeper meaning. I made my way further up in the line.

"Wouldn't dream of it. Lisa Marie would hate me, besides he's not really my type."

She looked at me obviously entertained and relieved by my quick wit. _Like mother like daughter. _

"Rory." Her tone turned serious.

I inched even closer to the check point as another person cleared customs.

"Mom?" I replied in the same serious tone.

She didn't really think I'd do something so rash did she? _I wouldn't elope, that wasn't my style. Of course if it meant having him back, if he asked me to…wait would I?_

Then as if she could hear my thoughts.

"Well you know what they say, 'Win in Vegas'."

"No mom it's 'When in Rome.'"

"No I'm pretty sure it's, 'Win in Vegas'."

I moved up yet another position in line, I was almost at the metal detectors now. I decided to keep the conversation playfully light. It was obvious by the undertone of our comments neither of our thoughts were anywhere near light. A playful answer with a double meaning would do the trick.

"Who's going to Vegas?" I asked rolling my eyes at her.

My question seemed to appease her.

"I'm just saying." She replied shrugging her shoulders as we stepped forward.

The security guard asked for my ticket and id.

"You're nuts. Capital N-U-T-Z, nuts!" I said jokingly, hoping to lighten the mood even further.

I needed her to be okay with this. I needed to know she wouldn't worry before I could bring myself to leave.

"Oh, my little Yale graduate! You love your nutty mommy, aye squirrel."

Seemed it worked.

"Squirrel?"

"Yeah, you know cause you love me and I'm nuts!"

The guard handed me back my id giving us both a curious look. I placed my carry-on bag on the table before me, then I sat down to remove my shoes.

"That's such a bad joke." I said shaking my head and handing her my shoes.

She placed them in the gray tray for me. I stood and removed my cell phone from my pocket.

"_Flight 108 to San Francisco, California now boarding," _boomed a voice over the intercom.

"That's me."

"That's you."

"I gotta get a move on if I'm gonna catch this flight."

"Right, of course." She stepped back as I made my way to the metal detectors.

I glanced back at her lovingly, knowing I wouldn't be the person I am today without her.

"Mom, thank you."

She lifted her arms in the air and shrugged her shoulders.

"It comes with the territory."

I smiled as I walked through the last check point.

"I love you, mom." I called back as I retrieved my carry on items.

"I love you too, squirrel."

_Squirrel. _I frowned and shook my head. I better end this now.

"That nickname's gotta go." I said as I waved goodbye.

"Oh but I think it's catchy." She replied nodding and urging me forward.

I turned and headed to my gate.

"You better come back a Gilmore and not a Presley." She called after me.

I turned around and continued walking backwards as I replied. "Not a Presley got it."

I took my seat in the cramped cabin of the plane. _Wonder how she'd feel about a Huntzberger?_

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**A/N: Oh thank God, Rory was so much nicer to me this time. So I thought I'd give this shorter chapter thing a go. Tell me what you think. Would you rather have longer chapters and fewer updates? Or shorter chapters and more updates? And yes I know, I know you're dying for some Rogan interaction…so am I! Next chapter I promise…I think…I'm pretty sure. Remember all those replies earned you another chapter, keep it up!!**


	5. Landing Destination Disappointment

**A/N: So this update took a little longer than I had planned. Seems I'm getting a lot more traffic these days. (yay!) The English major in me was mortified by the typos and grammatical errors in my previous chapters. I took some time out to work on the problem. (I'm a bit of a perfectionist with my work; I still have some kinks to iron out) Shout out to my girl Gilmoregirl19 for your help in the process. I highly recommend her work, she's great guys! I say you read and review this chapter then click on over to my Favorite Authors and check her out. If you got Twilight love my girl Aleeab4u will rock your socks. She's my all time favorite Author. (No really, prepare to be **_**dazzled.**_**) Anyway enough of my rambling…I swear I'm Gilmore. Seems longer chapters fewer updates won out so here's a nice long one for you enjoy… **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rory and I don't own Logan…how unfortunate. GG/WB/CW/ASP/All that good stuff**

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**LOGAN POV: **

I looked down at my watch. _Twelve hours!_ I've been stuck in this god forsaken board room for twelve long and torturously slow hours! I glance down at my watch again. _Twelve hours and two minutes. Will this day ever end? _Grant cleared his throat and my phone buzzed breaking through the silence of the stiff room. I reached up to mute it by pushing the button on the side then laying it back down on the table. Grant cleared his throat again. I looked up to see him starring at me with an amused smirk. _What the hell? _I shot him a questioning glare.

"Read it." He mouthed.

'Lucy will be coming in five minutes from now to call you out for a family emergency. Go to _Remy's_ I'll meet you there.'

_Grant, you sly dog. _I smiled as my fingers typed a reply.

'You are one clever bastard! What about you? Got a get out of jail free card I don't know about?'

He read the message and a grin spread across his entire face.

'Yeah you owe me big, Berger. Don't worry about me; I am one clever bastard after all.'

I shook my head astonished that he'd been the one to plan our escape. Grant was a lot of fun outside of work but when it came to the office he was strictly an all work no play kind of guy. I guess even he had grown weary with this silent torture. Just as he had planned, Lucy appeared a few minutes later announcing a family emergency and escorting me out. I was still stunned seeing this somewhat careless side of Grant. So imagine my surprise when I went outside and found a car waiting to take me to _Remy's_, our favorite bar. _Sly and efficient. _I thought as I slid onto the black leather seat.

_Later that night at the bar……_

"So she's gone, as in it's over? As in you've let it go? You're not even going to consider going there again?" Grant asked me while taking back a swig of his third beer.

We'd been here for a little over an hour smoothing out the kinks left from our day. We both desperately needed some time to unwind.

"I told you man, I can't hold on to her anymore. It's not fair to either of us."

He looked at me with doubtful eyes.

"You're sure… You're really ready to leave it?"

I picked up my glass and finished off my scotch before answering.

"Yeah, I'm positive."

He held up both hands in surrender.

"Okay, man. If you say so."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**RORY POV:**

The pilot's voice resounded throughout the crowded airplane announcing our soon coming arrival into the golden state. We're roughly twenty minutes from landing. I looked up to see the fasten seat belt signs flashing and the stewardess making her way down the aisle to collect trash. She stood next to me and checked make sure my carry-on was properly stowed. Suddenly the realization of where I was and what I was doing hit me. I was immediately overwhelmed by gut wrenching fear and monster sized insecurity. _What am I doing? Oh, my God. What am I doing?_ The violent bucking of my seat snapped me out of my train of thought. I turned to glare through the small crack between my seat and my neighbors. _Stupid kid._ The redheaded little twerp had the guts to stick out his tongue at me. He was the reason I hadn't processed. He was the reason I hadn't had time to think through my next move. I'd planned on figuring things at once I'd made air. That was shot to hell and back now. The entire flight had been one big disaster. This kid had gotten a kick out of kicking my seat since take off. I turned back around eager to ignore his latest attempt to rile me. _Focus, Rory, you've got to figure this out._ The pilot's voice sounded once again this time announcing our decent into San Francisco's airport and the local time. The stewardess made her way to the front of the plane to take her seat. _Oh, God. Rory, you've got to think. What do I do next? _My seat jarred forward once again. _I hope his mother's not too fond of him._

"Kid you touch my seat again and they'll be picking up red scraps from the runway."

He cowered and sank back away from me. It wasn't like me to be so rude but I'd had enough. I couldn't deal with this anymore given my current state of mind. The air pressure started to rise and my ears popped as we descended to a lower altitude. I had only moments left to think, moments to figure out what I'd do once we touched down. I looked out my window into the darkness of night and smiled as the city lights sparkled against the now black sky. I was here. I'd made it. I was in San Francisco and somewhere out there amidst those sparkling lights so was he. Plan or no plan, I'd made peace with my resolve to tell him my feelings and that was all that mattered. What's next? Simple, I find him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**LOGAN POV:**

"Mr. Huntzberger, your father is on line one." Janet's voiced buzzed loudly in my ear.

I sighed and unwillingly lifted my head from my desktop, glaring at the flashing red light on my phone. _I really don't want to deal with him today. I don't want to deal with him ever._

"Janet, can you take a message?"

"He said it was important, sir."

Who was I to leave my poor innocent secretary to deal with an angry Mitchum Huntzberger; no one should be subjected to that under any circumstances.

"Important. Right. I'll get it, Janet. Thank you."

It took every ounce of will power I possess to actually pick up the line.

"Hey, Dad." I said hesitantly.

"Logan."

His reply was followed with complete silence. _What does he want?_

"Dad?"

"Logan, I'd like for you to fly home next weekend."

"Why?"

My reaction was instinctual it came out before I'd even given thought to what he'd said.

"Logan you haven't been home in a year. Are you really asking me why?"

_It's been seven months, not a year. And I've had damn good reasons for staying away. Not that he'd understand or even care to._

"Dad now is really not a good time. _MRU _is buying out a company in LA and work's a mad house."

"Logan, it's your mother's birthday and she would like to see you. I don't give a damn if it's bad timing with that joke of a job or not. The jet will be waiting for you Friday morning, be there." He said with his most authoritative tone, it wasn't lost on me that this is the same tone he uses when dealing with inefficient employees of HPG. It would undoubtedly have them squirming and more than willing to comply with his every request. I'm not an employee and I'll be damned if it'll have that effect on me.

"Dad-"

He'd already hung up. _Asshole._

I opened my laptop and pulled up my afternoon schedule. _Only one meeting. _I reached over to my phone and pushed the intercom.

"Janet."

"Yes, Mr. Huntzberger?"

"Could you call Mr. Harris and see if we can reschedule for sometime next week? I'm not feeling well. I think I'm going to go home early today."

It wasn't a lie, I really didn't feel well. Grant and I had stayed at the bar just a little too late last night and I'd probably had one too many drinks.

"Certainly, sir."

"Great. Oh and Janet, I also need you to reschedule all of next Friday's appointments, seems I'm going home." _God save my soul._

"Will do, Mr. Huntzberger."

"Thank you, Janet."

I didn't even give staying a second thought. I was more than ready to leave this hectic work week for the calm of the weekend. Maybe I'd get some sailing in tomorrow, I'd become quite fond of it since moving to the bay area. It was nice out on the water, quiet. It was just me, the waves, and my thoughts. The thoughts of a peaceful day at sea settled my nerves a bit from the mess my conversation with my father had made of them. Content that I wouldn't have to deal with him until next week I gathered my things and made my way out the door. A few minutes later I was downstairs at my car. I opened the door and tossed my briefcase into the backseat. I reached in my pocket to grab my cell to call my favorite Chinese restaurant and order take-out. _Shit, I left my phone upstairs._

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

**RORY POV:**

"Hi, I'm looking for Mr. Huntzberger. Logan Huntzberger."

I was so nervous my stomach was in knots. After landing last night I decided to check into a hotel and get myself cleaned up. It was close to midnight by the time I'd gotten to my room and showered. I knew going out in a strange city looking for one man in the million or so out there would prove useless, I decided instead to get some much needed sleep. The most logical way for me to locate him would be through his office. It definitely wasn't the most romantic setting but romance aside I needed to find him and fast. My resolve was starting to falter as waves of insecurity crashed in and fear of the unknown threaten to take me under. I needed to do this. I needed to see him and tell him how much I loved him.

"Fifth floor." The short brunette at the front desk answered without even looking up to see who'd asked.

"Great. Thank you."

"Yep." She replied, still refusing to look of from the magazine in front of her.

I made my way to the elevator._ Here goes nothing. Actually this is everything. Oh, God. _The gold doors opened to his floor, Logan's floor. I took a deep and willed my feet to move forward. _Oh, my God. I'm really doing this._ I came to a receptionist's desk. She was middle aged with dark black hair softened by streaks of gray. She had a sincerity and kindness written in the expression on her face as she looked up from her computer to me.

"Hi, I'm looking for Logan Huntzberger."

My heart was beating a million miles a minute and I struggled to keep coherent under the full force of the anxiety that had been building in my chest.

"Oh honey I'm afraid you've just missed him. He left early today." She said with the same kindness in her voice that I'd noticed on her face.

_He's not here? _My heart rate dropped as my mind worked to process this information. Sadness replaced my anxiety and all the excitement I had over the thoughts of seeing him diminished.

"Oh."

My tone gave away my inward battle. She looked at me with sympathetic eyes that seemed to somehow understand.

"Is there perhaps something I could do for you, sweetheart?" She asked.

I was touched by her thoughtfulness and regretful that there wasn't anything she could do to help.

"No, I don't think so but thank you anyway."

I gave her a warm smile then turned to leave my heart heavy, weighed down by this failed attempt. Suddenly the four cups of coffee I drank this morning took me in a different direction. I turned back to the kind receptionist.

"You know what actually, may I use the restroom?"

She looked up once more from her work.

"Of course you can. It's down the hall and to the right."

She stood and pointed me in the direction she'd told me to take.

"Thank you so much."

I quickly made my way down the hall full of impressive dark mahogany doors. My thoughts consumed me as I entered the bathroom. _I can't believe he's not here. What next? How am I supposed to find him?_ I finished ridding myself of the effects of addiction. I washed my hands and then looked in the mirror to straighten my hair before making my way back out. I was sure to pay more attention this time walking down the hallway. I was intensely aware of the fact that he'd walked these very same halls for nearly a year. I was taking it all in, enjoying a brief glance into his world when I came to the door with a very shiny gold name plate that beckoned me in.

'_Logan Huntzberger'_

It was his office. I was standing in front of his office. I so longed to see even more of his world, this world he'd created for himself since leaving Connecticut. _Rory you really shouldn't. You can't go in there. You really shouldn't._ I went in.

The office was Logan personified. I slid my fingers along the cool surface of the black leather sofa in the center of the room, then walked over to scan the built in book shelf. It was filled with hardback copies of the classics side by side with the most recent works of Stephen King. I smiled sadly and tears began to fill my eyes as the realization of how much I missed him took hold of my heart. I couldn't help but laugh at the next item to catch my eye, a dart board. There's a dart board hanging behind his desk, undoubtedly there for tension relief after a long day or stressful meeting. My hands grazed the top of his desk it was clean and precise holding only necessary items. However, I knew if I opened the drawers they would prove to be another story altogether. I'd imagine they'd be filled with candy, Sudoku puzzles, and all sorts of other unprofessional items. I opened the top right drawer and found a bag of skittles and a rubber band ball. How well I know this man. In the corner I spotted a small bar which undoubtedly held more scotch than any other form of alcohol. I walked over to investigate when I heard something just outside the door. I turned to see the doorknob twist and the door slowly begin to open.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**A/N: They just wouldn't let me do it guys. But don't you worry, I had long talk with them and they promised us a Rogan encounter next chapter. (Should I be concerned that fictional characters are talking to me?) Anyway do you know how amazing you guys are with all the reviews? No? Well let me tell you…You guys are amazing with all the reviews. ****They really are the reason I keep writing. Need I say more?**


	6. Apparently a Gilmore

**A/N: Real life got in the way. Sorry for the late update. Two year olds are a lot of work...you mommies out there understand. Getting ready for the fall semester has been no simple feat but I'm all done now so back to writing bliss. If you've stuck with me for the past five chapters, here's your reward! Rogan Act 1**

**Disclaimer: Grant is all mine, that's about the extent of it. **

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**RORY POV:**

The moment I realized what was happening my eyes began to search frantically for somewhere to hide. My thoughts were incoherent clouded by overwhelming anxiety. They were drowning in the sound of my own heart beat as it raced at new and unchartered speeds. Nowhere, there is absolutely nowhere for me to hide in this office. My head spun in realization that in seconds I would be caught with my hand in the cookie jar so to speak. However this is much worse, this isn't a cookie jar, it's my ex's office and I'm not a child. Then it happened, the door opened, my time for planning or hiding had run out. I stood completely still unable to move even a fraction of an inch.

It wasn't fear that paralyzed me, although fear was definitely present and accounted for. Instead it was a childish instinct that had rendered me immobile. I was willing this all to go away like a child hiding from a monster underneath the shelter of their blanket. I hoped against hope that my lack of movement would somehow shield me that it would somehow keep me from being discovered. I wanted so desperately to be invisible. I wasn't and that was made quite apparent by the look of utter astonishment and bewilderment written upon his face. Standing before me was a very attractive young man clad in an expensive suit and tie. He was tall with dark brown hair and light green eyes. Green eyes that were obviously questioning my uninvited presence in this room.

"I-I'm so sorry. I think I got…I'm-I'm leaving."

I have never found it quite so difficult to find and form words. But what exactly am I suppose to say seeing as how there really is no suitable explanation for my inappropriate snooping. He continue to stand next to the door glaring at me with a new look, one I couldn't quite place. I tried to make my way out but in my haste I knocked over a stack of papers that were precariously perched on top of a filing cabinet. _Great. Do I pick them up or do I leave?_ After I watched the papers scatter across the floor I chanced a look at him once more. He looked as if he were considering the situation he'd walked into and calculating a reaction. Something about his expression was somewhat alarming. I was growing more and more uncomfortable by the second so I decided against staying. I reached the door and muttered a quiet apology before turning to leave.

"Rory Gilmore?"

I froze.

"Are you Rory Gilmore?"

I turned to face him astonished that this stranger had just called me by name. I started to speak but he stopped me.

"So I take it you are Rory Gilmore?" The way he said my name was a bit unnerving. It seemed as if he'd wished to never say again, like my name was vile or forbidden.

"I am. I'm sorry do we know each other?" I flipped through memories of former acquaintances and found nothing of him logged there.

"You don't know me Rory but I definitely know you. Why are you here?" I understood my previous discomfort as his acidy tone turned my stomach into knots. I have no idea who this man is or how he knows me but it's clear he's unhappy I'm here. I struggled to respond still shaken by his blatant distaste for me.

"I-I'm here to see a friend and he's obviously not here so I shouldn't be either. I'll be leaving now." I once again turned to walk out.

"What makes you think he wants to see you Rory?"

Even though he was a stranger his words pierced my heart with a sharp and unrelenting pain. I found myself unable to move as his question repeated itself over and over in my head. The truth is I don't really know how Logan will feel about my arrival here. Insecurity began to creep back in as his words left an unwanted weight. I turned around to see him leaning on the edge of Logan's desk with both arms tucked across his chest. His expression was somber and his eyes were unrepentant as he spoke.

"Logan doesn't need this. I don't know why you're here or what your intentions are but I think you've done enough damage as it is. You shouldn't be here, Rory, he really doesn't need this right now."

The insecurity left me and was replaced by an overwhelming sense of indignation. _Who does this guy think he is questioning my motives or speaking for Logan and his needs?_ I don't know him and I have no idea why he cares. I'd had enough. I didn't come all the way out here, all the way to California, just to be verbally assaulted by a stranger with a chip on his shoulder.

"I told you my intentions. I'm here to see a friend. I don't know how he'll feel about my presence but I'm afraid that's a decision he'll have to make. As far as the damage I've done, I'm well aware of its' effects. I live with the effects of damage every day. If I could go back and undo it all trust me I would. Not that it's any of your business in the first place." I spoke with conviction and held nothing back as I allowed all the frustration I was feeling to display itself openly on my face and through my tone.

"So you're saying you'd do things differently if given the chance?"

His question wasn't what I was expecting in response and caught me off guard. I shouldn't feel the need to reply since he was continuing to stick his nose where it didn't belong even after my not so subtle warning. However for some reason I couldn't hold back my feelings anymore than a broken dam can stand its' ground under the weight of rushing water.

"Yes, if given the chance to take it all back-if given the chance to change it I would. In fact, I hope somehow I can."

He took in a deep breath and then sighed seemingly relieved by my words. He then uncrossed his arms and stretched out his hand as he made his way to me.

"Grant."

All the tension that had built in the room seemed to dissipate with his small gesture. I returned the sentiment by placing my hand in his.

"Rory, but I guess you already knew that."

My confession had caused his entire countenance to change. He granted me a small smile and then gestured towards the couch.

"Care to sit, Rory?"

I was a bit taken back by this offer but wanted to keep this friendlier version of the dark haired stranger front side. So I sat.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**LOGAN POV:**

_PDA sucks! I mean is it really necessary to display your sappy love life openly for everyone to see? Not everyone appreciates it._ I fidgeted uncomfortably from one foot to the other as I glared disapprovingly at the couple ahead of me. Actually I'd be lying if I said I'm not a PDA man myself. I love being in love and when I have it, or when I had it. I proudly flaunted it. However, standing in line waiting to pick up my to-go order has definitely changed my perspective on things.

There is a couple in front of me that refuse to take their hands off of each other. It's not an over the top sexual thing, although I think that would be less appalling. What they are doing is sweet, it's intimate, and I hate it. The guy has his arm wrapped around her shoulder and she's leaning in whispering things to him, things that have him lit with excitement. I cringe inwardly as I see him run his hand through her curly brown tresses. The image playing out in front of me is all too familiar and it's haunting.

Love is beautiful and it's sickening. Sickening for the poor bastards like me out there without hope. I definitely won't flaunt it ever again. Not that I'll ever have it to flaunt. Love was a one shot thing for me, one shot I screwed up immensely. I shake my head in exasperation. Today was not the day to leave my cell phone at the office, _why didn't I go back for it?_ A blackberry would be a welcome distraction right now. I was elated when the small oriental girl called the lovebirds forward to retrieve their order. I followed suit collecting my four bags, I couldn't decide what to order so pretty much indulged in half the menu. I walked out of the quaint Chinese restaurant just in time to catch Mr. Right lovingly opening the door for his Mrs. How I hate love these days.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**RORY POV:**

If I've ever known anxiety I'd never known it in the depth of which I was being bombarded by it now. Turns out grand gestures aren't all they are cracked up to be. I got up from the floor in which I'd been resting, no better yet the floor in which I'd been sitting restlessly, and began to frantically pace the hallway. _What am I doing here? I swear I've lost all touch with reality. What if Grant's first reaction was right and Logan has no desire to see me now or ever again? I can't do this! I can't show up out of nowhere seven months after refusing his proposal. What kind of person does that? What kind of person tells the man she loves she can't marry him? I thought my mother was mental, seems it runs in the family. This is wrong I should leave. I shouldn't be here invading his life, the life that I'm no longer a part of._

I headed for the brass doors of the elevator and waited impatiently for it to meet me on his floor. After having a heart to heart with Grant, my new found friend, I'd learned Logan's address and headed to his apartment with a prayer that everything would somehow work out. I realize now that prayer had been wasted breath seeing as how I'd lost touch with my resolve and now allowed the fear and insecurities I'd been feeling since leaving Connecticut to take me under. I was no longer confident and brave Rory Gilmore on a mission to fix her broken heart. I was weak and scared Rory Gilmore failing miserably and aborting my own mission.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**LOGAN POV:**

Fourteen floors in a small enclosed space with Chinese food, only four more to go and I could enjoy some much needed alone time. The elevator stalled on the sixteenth floor. Damn thing as much as I pay for this place you'd think they could afford to fix it. I sighed deeply becoming even more impatient for the comfort of my home. It had been a long day, hell it'd been a long month._ I need a vacation._ I closed my eyes as thoughts of a beautiful Tahitian sunset played vibrantly in my mind. The colors painted in the sky were breathtaking as day gave way to night. Peace surrounded me with the waves crashing softly upon the shore, and the warm sand massaging my feet.

_Ding._

The sound of the elevator reaching my floor broke through my imaginary retreat and I opened my eyes to see something far more breathtakingly beautiful than any Tahitian beach at sunset could ever be. My heart stopped instantly only to recover beating at record breaking speed. I know I have a vivid imagination but this; this was a whole new level of crazy. This can't be real, it can't be. Then her eyes, her ravishingly blue eyes, met mine. She gave me a small sideways smile that stopped my heart once more.

"What are you feeding an army or something?" She asked pointing to the bags of Chinese food I'd long since forgotten.

I laughed nervously still unsure that she wasn't some sort of apparition standing before me. I stepped out of the elevator and made the decision that if this was a dream I'd relish every moment of it.

"Not exactly but apparently a Gilmore."

She smiled and shook her head as she reached for one of the bags, and I handed it to her without hesitation.

"Well in that case, where's the rest?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**A/N: Don't get all riled up I promised a Rogan encounter and you got one! If I'd gone any further with this the chapter would have gotten ridiculously long, and I'm tired. Next two or three chapters are all Rogan so plenty more to come! **


	7. My Hearts Answer

**A/N: You guys stunned me with the quick response and reviews to the last chapter. I like being stunned so here's some love for you wonderful readers! **

**Disclaimer: GG/creative mind of Amy Sherman Pallidino/not mine**

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**RORY POV:**

_I was no longer confident and brave Rory Gilmore on a mission to fix her broken heart. I was weak and scared Rory Gilmore failing miserably and aborting my own mission_.

I starred impatiently at the brass doors before me willing them to open. I had to make my escape and quickly this was something I was in no way prepared to face. _What was I thinking coming here?_

_Ding._

In that moment my entire world changed as it collided head on and full force with his. The elevator doors opened to reveal the love of my life standing before me looking even more stunning than I had remembered. He was leaning against the back wall of the elevator, eyes closed tightly and a small smile daring to daunt his otherwise trite expression. I was filled with curiosity and wonder as to where his thoughts had taken him during his short trip to the eighteenth floor. I felt a confusing mixture of joy and pain as I admired his beautiful blonde locks and their new longer length. How many times had I savored the feeling of his messy tress running between my fingers? He was dressed in a perfectly tailored suit, his tie already untied and hanging haphazardly around his neck.

I was instantly flooded with memories of our years together and overcome with encompassing love for him. At the same time my heart was engulfed with an immense sadness and deep regret as the revelation that he was not mine to love took hold. The sudden knowledge that our lives were no longer joined but instead broken apart by my own doing lead to a completely new and even more complex round of emotional turmoil. Immediately my resolve to tell him how I felt returned with a new found boldness and urgency. No matter what else happened, I was sure of one thing Logan Huntzberger would know that I still love him.

He opened his eyes and shock captured his expression completely. My breathing hitched and my heart rate rose as reality finally registered. This was it, seven months of no contact and here we are face to face. My eyes met his and all the familiar warmth of their chocolate brown color threatened to take me under. I so longed to forget all restraint and reach for him without reserve but my mind held strong and I managed to form a sentence instead.

"What are you feeding an army or something?" I asked as I pointed to the bags in his hands.

Granted it was far from anything I desired to say but it was a start and we needed that, a simple start. I looked at him nervously as I awaited a response. Seconds of silence passed that seemed to take the form of hours. My heart sped into overdrive as the insecurity and fear I'd been experiencing only moments earlier reappeared and violently so. Finally he laughed lightheartedly and relief washed over me flooding my tense body with much needed release.

"Not exactly but apparently a Gilmore."

The sound of his voice nearly brought me to my knees; it had been far too long since I'd hear him speak and even longer since I'd hear his laugh. _Wait, was that an invitation?_ I wondered silently if he could hear the new rhythm my heart had taken as it beat brazenly in my chest. If that was an invitation it's one I'd definitely be taking. I smiled and reached for one of the four bags of Chinese food. He handed it over without hesitation.

"Well in that case, where's the rest?"

He smirked at me and extended a hand gesturing towards the apartment door before us.

"Shall we?" He asked and then stuck his key in the doorknob.

This was far from what I'd prepared myself for. Logan has never been known for his patience or pardon. I'd expected a challenge. I'd expected him to call me out on my actions and demand an explanation of my uninvited presence. I expected an angry and indignant Logan, and I was prepared to deal with that version of him. Yet here before me stood Mr. Cool, Calm, and Collected. This isn't the Logan I know. Where had all this acceptance come from? I was weary of the answer and refused to allow my mind to dwell to long in that state. Could this really be all that easy? I offered a quick thank you to God who'd obviously heard my short breathed prayer.

I followed Logan's lead through the doorway and into the dark apartment. He quickly switched on the lights and led the way to the kitchen. Silently he placed the bags he had been carrying on the granite countertop and then reached into the cabinet to retrieve two glasses which he placed on the island that stood between us. I turned around and placed the bag I was still holding on the counter with the others. The air was becoming thick saturated with stress. The silence between us now proved that perhaps my early estimation of the situation was incorrect and this wouldn't be all that easy after all. I turned back around to see him starring at me with utter disbelief coloring his features. It seemed as if reality hadn't quite reached him. We stood there silently starring at one another for what seemed like an eternity.

"You're really here aren't you?" He asked incredulously.

I fought hard yet again with the overwhelming desire to reach out and touch him. I longed to somehow show him all the words my mouth was still unable to form. I settled for a smile and a nod of my head in reassurance that I wasn't a figment of his imagination, though I'd understand the reason behind such a thought. I'm pretty sure I'm his worst nightmare come to life, the girl that tore your heart out casually stopping by to say hello. My heart filled with dread as I wondered silently what this might be doing to him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**LOGAN POV:**

My head was spinning in the realization that she was actually here. I needed a moment to collect myself. In fact I needed air. Breathing had become extremely difficult given the circumstances. I held steady to my place behind the island that separated us.

"Rory, I-I need you to stay here ok. I just…I need a minute but promise me you'll stay?"

I made it a point to make eye contact in effort to express the sincerity of my request. Though I knew this was a wise decision as I saw regret and retreat written in her expression, the depth of her blue eyes drew me in and I so longed to touch her, to feel her, to know she was real. Every part of me longed for her to be real. Actually every part of me longed for her to be more than real, I longed for her to be part of my reality. I wanted her to stay. I desperately needed her to stay but I still hadn't processed the fact that she was even here. I needed to process and I needed to do it now. It was something that simply could not wait. Worry covered her face as she began to speak.

"Logan, I-"I raised my hands in a gesture hoping to silence her. I wasn't ready for this conversation, not yet.

"Rory, just promise me you'll stay?"

She nodded her head in response and I in turn gave her a small smile before escaping through the door. Thankfully I managed to hold it together long enough to reach the rooftop. The brisk air that met me there heightened every sense in me and the numbness I'd experienced since I'd opened my eyes and found her standing before me in the hallway quickly wore off. It was replaced by sensory overload. I felt so many conflicting things I fell to my knees under the weight of it all.

_She's here._ It was a mantra repeating over and over in my thoughts sounding out any other coherent thought that dared to rise against it. _She's here, she's here. My beautiful girl is here. God, Logan, think! Why is she here?_ That was it. That simple question was all I needed for the proper emotions to take the forefront. _She shouldn't be here. She has no right to be here. She turned down my proposal. She's the one who said no to this life. Why is she here? What does it matter? This is not her life. This isn't the life she wanted, she didn't want me. She can't be here. She can't expect me to be ok with this. She's the one living life to the fullest and no regrets, and I'm here picking up the pieces. I've said goodbye, I can't do it again. What did she come to see how miserable I am? Seven months with no contact and now suddenly she's at my door? As if my heart hasn't been broken enough, as if she hasn't done enough damage as it is. Well I'll be damned if I'll let her do any more._

I stood to my feet determined to end this. All the desire I had initially felt for her to stay was now taken by my insurmountable fury. I love her. Damn, if I don't love her but this is even more than I can take. On my way back down I made peace with the fact that I was about to send the woman I love away. Our lives were never meant to unite. We're a tragic love story and our fate holds no happy ending. By the time I made it to my door I was decisive and adamantly so.

I opened the door and walked in. Seconds later I found her standing by the wall of windows in the living room. The moonlight shining in cast an angelic glow on her already perfect pale skin. Instantly my resolve faltered. My heart was powerless to stand against her. This woman captivated every morsel of my being. The reign she held over me was inexplicable and true, her power was endless. Realization kicked in and my mind fought violently to surpass my heart. Reason and logic eventually won out.

"Rory, I'm sorry but I can't do this."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**RORY POV:**

It had been fifteen minutes since he left me standing in his kitchen. I was in a state of shocked stupor. His words replayed endlessly in my head…

"_Rory, I-I need you to stay here ok. I just…I need a minute but promise me you'll stay?" _

I tried to protest knowing that the worst of my fears must have been true, that my presence here was hurting him. Regret filled my entire existence the last thing I ever wanted to do was cause him pain. My mind screamed retreat but he insisted I promise to stay and I foolishly had. Now fifteen minutes later and still no Logan needless to say it was more than a struggle to keep that promise. I knew that if I didn't find some form of distraction and quickly I'd fearfully flee.

I decided I needed to move. His request had rendered me temporarily immobile and I still stood in the same position I'd been in when he'd left. The registration of this fact alone caused the walls of the spacious kitchen to quickly close in around me. I took a deep breath and made my way out of the room and into the adjacent living room. It like his office was Logan personified. I smiled as I recognized some of his favorite items. Items that had once held a place in the apartment we'd shared. I walked over to a bookshelf that housed not only countless books but a few collectables as well. I picked up a picture and tears filled my eyes. It was taken the day of Honor's wedding. That day wasn't our best but the look of pride written on Logan's face with his arms wrapped tightly around his beloved sister filled my heart with joy. I missed Honor. She hadn't spoken to me since my graduation and seeing her in the photo made me long for my old friend. I placed the photo back on the shelf knowing I had no room left in me for grief. I turned and was beckoned by the splendor of the city lights to the wall of windows. A few minutes later I heard the door open and Logan reappeared. His expression was drenched in both anger and concern. At that moment I realized I wasn't the only one being flooded with conflicting emotions.

"Rory, I'm sorry but I can't do this."

My heart sank.

"Logan, I-"

"No wait, let me finish! What are you even doing here, Rory? Seven months. Seven months and now you show up out of the blue? I can't do this. I won't."

His face was solemn as he spoke and he did well to hide any of the emotions he was feeling from me. I found no doubt in his eyes. His mind was clearly set he wouldn't do this. This conversation that I so desperately needed to have was something he would never allow.

"Logan, I know you didn't expect me and I can't imagine what that must be like for you. But you have to understand, I knew you wouldn't embrace the idea of me coming even if I had called."

He shook his head in exasperation as he stepped closer to me.

"You're damn right I wouldn't. You shouldn't be here this-this is unacceptable." He said through gritted teeth with apparent bitterness found upon the syllables each word.

"Unacceptable? Logan, I need to talk to you. Since when is that unacceptable?"

My voice registered higher than before as utter desperation seemed to seep through every spoken word.

"I don't want to hear it. Whatever you have to say, I don't want to hear it. And since when, are you seriously gonna ask me that?"

His tone had also changed but it wasn't desperation I found there, it was fury.

"You don't even know what I want to say. You don't want to know why I came here?"

I was grasping for straws but I needed some sort of hold. I need him to open up to me. I needed him to hear me.

"I don't need to know, Rory. You said everything you could possibly ever need to say, you said no."

The pain found in his words echoed tragically throughout my thoughts and tortured me from within. I had hurt him in so many ways and now here I am twisting the knife I'd already pierced an innumerable amount of times through his heart. I am an utterly despicable person.

"Logan..." I started to plea.

"Rory, leave, please just leave."

The anger I'd found so rampant in his side of this conversation was swallowed whole by something far worse. When he spoke his request his tone and the expression on his face gave way to a pain and sorrow so grave my entire being shook at the sight of it.

"Fine, I'll go. But not before you know…my heart has always said yes."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**A/N: Ok so that last line had me in tears...Oh Logan and Rory, they are just full of crazy tragic love but I think just maybe fate does have a happy ending. Hopefully! So as I said you stunned me. Do it again and we'll see if I can't get you Logan's reaction to Rory's confession.**


	8. When Words Won't Do

**A/N: Ok you guys were wonderful with the reviews as usual! I'm absolutely addicted to you. However, I must say you all have Jellicoe to thank for the update. I refuse to keep a VERY pregnant woman waiting long. Congrats on the baby love, my best wishes for you and the little one. Hopefully this chapter will dry your tears. I really didn't realize how sad the last one was. **

**Ps. I tried to make actual paragraphs for you AllieCat60 although some still ran long. Thanks for the suggestion! I hope it's easier to read and I'm glad to have you on board.**

**Disclaimer: still not mine…never will be**

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**LOGAN POV: **

"Rory, leave, please just leave."

My voice was barely above a whisper as I struggled to form the words found in my painful request. Asking her to leave was proving to be even more difficult than walking away from her at graduation had been.

I still had no idea why she was here and the curiosity that struck me was nearly insufferable. I'd almost bit when she'd so obviously tried to bait me by using my natural inquisitive nature against me. Rory knew me well and she knew the depths in which I'd want to know her reasons for coming.

However as grand as my curiosity was my fear was far exceeding. I was barely clinging to sanity as it is. If I allowed her to stay only to find out her life was complete without me I knew without a doubt I'd lose my final grip. She had to leave. As much as it pained me to ask her to go, staying was not an option.

I fought hard to hide the emotional distress that was overwhelming me, though the expression on her face told me she saw it clearly. I sighed and chanced one more look into her beautiful blue eyes. The memories I found there so easily threatened to overcome me. It didn't help that she was on the brink of tears and I knew I was the cause for them. She starred back at me and suddenly a sense of urgency took over her expression and boldness her tone as she spoke the words that rendered me speechless.

"Fine, I'll go. But not before you know…my heart has always said yes."

Nothing. I could say nothing. I could think nothing. I could do nothing. I was in complete and utter shock! _Did she really say what I think she said?_ Her eyes held strong to mine and the tears she'd fought so desperately to hold back began to flow freely down her rose colored cheeks. Her expression was detailed with insurmountable regret and colored in an unrelenting grief as her quiet tears turned into audible sobs. I knew in that instant seeing her so broken before me that the words she'd just spoken, the words I'd so longed to hear, were nothing short of the truth. _My heart has always said yes _repeated over and over in my head as I carefully contemplated the meaning of what she'd just said.

Moments later I realized I was still standing silently in the same position I'd been in when her confession had first made air. I sought words but found none. Minutes passed and still we remained. We were both completely lost in silence that was only penetrated by her sobs. She broke eye contact with me and starred down at the floor. I was frozen, still unable to form a proper reaction. Still unable to form any reaction. I noticed that she seemed to be collecting herself as her crying grew quieter. She shook her head from side to side before returning her gaze to me once more. I knew I needed to say something. I needed to speak but I was at a complete loss for words. She let out a deep suppressed sigh and said nothing more. Instead she reached for her bag that was sitting on a nearby table and turned to make her way out the door. Realizing that my moment was swiftly passing I did the only thing I knew to do. I reached for her.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**RORY POV:**

My heart was so conflicted in the moments following my tear filled confession. The first thing I felt was the nearly smothering weight of regret. It wasn't regret that I'd confessed to my greatest mistake but regret that I'd ever had to confess at all. I know now that I should have never refused his proposal. I know now that this is the life I've always wanted and always will. Life with him it is the greatest desire of my empty and broken heart. _Why hadn't I known it then? Why hadn't I seen it before?_ I sobbed openly now as regret took its' full hold over me.

This feeling was followed by a new one. It came forth in the form of distress. I knew that this situation had been nearly unbearable for me and possibly the same for Logan. I felt like the most wretched person that had ever existed putting myself and the man I love in such awful circumstances. More sobs erupted.

Distress was swallowed by grief. I'd hurt us both in so many ways and that pain that we'd both experienced we'd always carry. I knew I may never heal from the wound this horrible mistake had created.

And finally I felt a sense of relief. The words I'd so longed to say had been spoken. He now knew my heart was his and that it always had been. It was a heavy weight lifted off my chest. Unfortunately that relief, the only good thing I'd felt in ages, was short lived. The weight that had left me now returned in a new and crushing form. Silence. Since I'd spoken he'd said absolutely nothing in return.

I didn't expect an immediate reaction knowing that he'd need to process what I'd said. I waited and waited and continued to wait. Silence was all that greeted me, painfully eerie silence. I broke eye contact and looked to the floor. I knew I need to gather myself. I need to gain control over my wayward emotions before they controlled me. I pulled myself together, at least to the best of my ability, and somehow managed to temporarily suppress my coming tears.

I took a chance and looked once more into his deep brown eyes. I so longed to see some form of hope but to my great duress I found nothing. My heart surrendered to its' undeniable defeat as I reached for my bag and headed for the door. I continued to stare at my feet as I walked by him. I knew my fragile heart couldn't bear the sight of his beautiful face anymore. Just before I'd made it past him and to the door he did something I was in no way expecting him to do.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me into him. His eyes met mine and I finally found in them everything I'd been hoping for. He gently brushed the back of his hand across my cheek catching a tear that had managed to escape my eye. My heart literally leapt in its' place and then set sail at speeds it's never known. In mere seconds I found myself completely undone by his perfect touch.

He leaned in and placed the softest of kisses upon my lips. His lips were heaven pressed warmly to mine. His hands found their way to my hips and the feeling of his fingers wrapping around my body sent chills throughout my core. I lost the ability to form a coherent thought. My mind surrendered to a state of complete bliss. I knew in that moment my life, once lost in a dreary darkness, had returned to me. I pulled him closer and deepened our kiss as I placed my arms around his neck and once again savored the feeling of running my fingers through his messy hair. He responded in typical Logan fashion granting me a small moan into my mouth before pulling away for much needed air.

"Rory-" He said in a deep husky tone.

I'd had enough air. I pulled him to me and kissed him again. He didn't fight me but willingly surrendered. His hands were everywhere now, my back, my neck, and then each wound into my hair. He trailed kisses from my mouth down my cheek and back up to my ear.

"We really-"

He tried once again to form words but they were stifled as soon as I touched the tip of my tongue to his earlobe. In that instant all he could manage was a deep breath and another moan of surrender.

"Shhh. Logan, not now."

I whispered into his ear while my hands found the buttons of his shirt. I made quick work of them and in mere seconds his blue dress shirt was discarded to the floor. I untucked his undershirt and ran my hands underneath it, memorizing each part of him before removing the white fabric that still hid his gorgeous body from me.

"Need. Mmmh. "

His belt was next.

"Need to. Oh God."

I sought to kiss every inch of exposed skin still hungry for even more of him.

"Need to talk, Rory."

I had him in my arms again and I had absolutely no intention of letting go.

"Later." I said as pulled him into a sweet kiss.

He broke away and I immediately felt rejection and shame creep into the expression on my face. He smiled at me and placed one hand on my cheek. He looked deeply into my eyes and said...

"Later."

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**LOGAN POV:**

I woke up to a restless Rory who was dreaming and talking in her sleep. I sat up in bed and leaned my back against the headboard listening to her voice. I'd so desperately missed her sweet voice. Lorelia was apparently present in her dream as it seemed Rory was ranting with her about eating the last of the pop tarts or something of the sort. I smiled down at her amused that even in her sleep she battled adamantly to the end with unmatched Gilmore flair. She bantered on for a few more minutes before finally settling into some much needed peaceful sleep.

I considered joining her and returning again to my slumber but my starving stomach beckoned me otherwise. I quietly slipped out of bed and into my boxers. I opened the door and tried to walk silently into the kitchen. When I got there I was assaulted by the aroma of Chinese food and my hungry stomach did back flips. I grabbed one of the glasses sitting on the island and went to the fridge to get a soda. I opened the drink and it went nuts. It spewed all over me and everything in sight. I rushed to the sink and in my haste stubbed my toe on the corner of the cabinet.

"Damn it!"

Laughter erupted from behind me. I turned to see Rory standing there with both hands clutched over her mouth in an attempt to stifle her laughter.

"Oh you think that's funny do you?"

She dropped her hands and fought hard to hide her smile.

"Aww, baby not that you stumped your toe. No, of course not." She said as she made her way over to assess the damage. When she saw that I was fine her concerned turned once again to humor and she no longer tried to hide her amusement.

"What are you laughing at?" I asked incredulously.

"You're covered in soda." She said between laughs.

"Oh yeah and that funny is it?" I allowed mock shock and disdain to color my words and expression.

"Yeah well kinda." She answered in an adorable mousy voice.

"Kinda?"

I picked up the half empty coke can and splashed the remainder of the soda on her. Then made my over to her and wrapped my sticky arms around her in a tight hug rubbing my soda soaked bare chest against her t-shirt clad body.

"Logan Huntzberger." She scolded me.

"Rory Gilmore."

"Why I ought a..." She glared with the cutest look of disapproval.

I released my hold on her and backed up shrugging my shoulders and lifting both hands questioningly in the air.

"What Ace? What cha gonna do?" I taunted her.

She fell silent and her face filled with emotion as tears welled up in her gorgeous blue eyes. I was immediately filled to the brim with concern.

"Rory?"

I tried to calculate her expression. It was confusing as it seemed to be filled with sorrow and yet great joy. She gave me an endearing smile.

"Ace. You called me Ace."

I returned her smile with one of my own.

"Yeah, I guess I did now didn't I?"

I walked back over to her and placed a hand on each of her cheeks and looked into those lovely blue eyes.

"Rory, you'll always be my Ace."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Final thoughts: I hope you enjoyed some good Rogan love…I know I did! If you're with me and want more you know the drill. It was a little steamy at one point. I tried to stay within the T rating. If you think I didn't do so well with that let me know and we'll bump it up to M. (then we can really have fun) Also know that I have begun work on my first Twilight fanfic called Bitter Blood. (Twilight. Yes, I know Rory would give me a great big boo but I'm positive Lorelia would approve. In fact, we all know she'd host a cougar crush on hottie hot Rob Pattison.) Anyway chapter 1 is almost complete and I'll hopefully be able to post it sometime this weekend. If you're a Twilighter keep your eyes on my page for that update and if not and you only want more Rogan you can definitely win me over with your lovely reviews. We get to 100 reviews and no question you'll get your Chapter 9 before Twilight gets its' new story. Chapter 9 talk time since they were _otherwise occupied_. You're all amazing…love, love, love you!**

**Just added a new story one shot of the missing scene from this chapter also called When Words Won't Do..it's Logan POV and an outright lemon..if your intrested in that kinda thing..**


	9. Holy Gilmore that's alot of TALK

**A/N: Ahh guys I've been such a bum!!! Sorry! Boo me in your review I deserve it! Speaking of reviews…You guys and your reviews!! Posted chapter eight and before I even wake the next morning you've met the 100 review mark and beyond! So of course I'm delighted to bring you Chapter 9, which proved to be quite the undertaking. It's a long chapter we have a lot to cover. I am really sorry it's taken me longer than usual to update. I've been quite busy and sorta hit a wall with this chapter. You know what it's like when you're reading a book but for some reason keep reading the same sentence over and over...well if you do that's kinda what this chapter was like for me. I also wanted to say you all seemed quite welcoming to some saucy lovin' between our crazy kids. I'll definitely keep that in mind in this and the coming chapters. However, I've decided to keep this one T rated for my younger audience. If you want smut you can go to my page and view **_**When Words Won't Do**_**. I'm thinking it may not be a one shot after all, maybe we'll put all the juicy moments there? (Per your suggestions of course) Well not much more to say thank goodness right? So let's get to the Roganfest.**

**Disclaimer: Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. That lame joke has just about as much to do with Gilmore Girls as me. Insomnia is really starting to wear on me. Can't you tell? : ) **

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**RORY POV:**

"_Paul Anka, you didn't eat your sister's pop tarts did you, you sweet, sweet boy?"_

"_Paul Anka?"_

I sat up in bed.

_Oh, man weird dream. _

The room spun around me as my eyes adjusted to being in an unfamiliar darkness. A chill ran up my spine and I glanced down at my cold naked body. Suddenly all the events leading up to my restless sleep played vibrantly throughout my mind. I saw Logan with his lips pressed passionately to mine and his perfect hands roaming frantically all over my needy body. I closed my eyes in concentration and allowed the sweet memories to take me in.

"_I've missed you."_

An involuntary tremble swept over me as his husky voice replayed in my mind speaking the words I'd so longed to hear. I released a slow and very peaceful sigh as each passing image became even sweeter than the last. The next image to assail me was Logan passionately making love to me. I tilted my head backwards and stifled a small moan that threatened escape.

"_Perfect, baby. You're absolutely perfect." _

I opened my eyes not at all concerned with hiding the huge grin that freely spread across my face. _Perfect. _I toyed with the word and finally decided it was a "perfect" description of all that this night had been. _Perfect. _I so longed for some more of that perfection.

I glanced lovingly to his side of the bed. Instantly an entirely new onslaught of emotion met me when I found that it was empty. My brow creased in confusion. _Where is he? _Suddenly my solitude caused an overwhelming feeling of immense vulnerability. I instinctively tugged at the sheet to cover my naked form. A new and daunting insecurity plagued me. My mind went into overdrive rethinking everything that had taken place, analyzing every single moment that had passed since my arrival here.

My thoughts were flooded with images that to my great duress replayed in a new and entirely different tone than the ones I willingly welcomed before. Now I saw Logan asking me to wait while he took some time to process my arrival. I'd known it was a stupid and rash idea to suddenly show up at his home seven months later without so much as a phone call to announce my presence, stupid but I'd done it anyway.

"_I can't do this. I won't."_

The anger and resolve he'd returned with was openly display by not only his words but his trite expression.

"_This is unacceptable."_

"_You said everything you could possibly ever need to say, you said no."_

"_Leave Rory."_

My heart sank as his painful request repeated over and over in my memory. What if this night hadn't meant what I so desperately needed it to mean? What if my confession hadn't changed as much as I'd thought it'd changed? We hadn't taken time to talk and truthfully I had no idea where we stood if anywhere at all.

_Stupid Rory! Stupid! _

I took in a shaky breath and forced myself to silence the screaming anxiety building within me. I rose from the warmth of the bed and reached down to grab Logan's discarded undershirt pulling it over my head on my way to the door. I needed to find him. As much as feared the endless possibilities surround our well whatever we are I knew we needed to talk.

I walked quietly and cautiously out of the bedroom and down the small hall that led to the living room. Walking in darkness through an unfamiliar space is never a safe venture. When I reached the living room I noticed lights on in the adjacent kitchen. A small sense of relief tugged at my weary heart. We hadn't had dinner and I know Logan, he's definitely not one to skip a meal. I inched even closer to the kitchen. When I reached the doorway I fought desperately hard to stifle the all out uproar of laughter building in my chest. Apparently it was fight night in the Huntzberger kitchen. Logan vs. Coke and Coke was definitely winning.

"Damn it!" He roared after stubbing his toe on the corner of the cabinet.

And that was it took, I exploded with laughter. I quickly pulled both hands up to cover my mouth in hopes of not getting too carried away. Logan turned and glared at me incredulously.

"Oh you think that's funny do you?"

I managed to compose myself, after all the poor thing had stubbed his toe and that's never a good feeling.

"Aww, baby not that you stumped your toe. No, of course not." I said as I made my way over to comfort him.

I walked closer to him giving him a good once over. Seemed his ego would be the only thing suffering long term damage. This story will have Colin and Finn on the floor in fits of laughter and I fully intended on being the one to share it with them. I looked around the kitchen and the magnitude of the soda explosion registered leaving me completely incapable of composing myself any longer. I rocked with laughter once more.

"What are you laughing at?"

I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe. I once again fought for composure and finally formed a response.

"You're covered in soda." I said through broken laughs.

"Oh yeah and that funny is it?"

"Yeah well kinda." I said softly finally regaining some of my senses and slightly embarrassed that I'd so easily lost them in the first place.

"Oh yeah?"

He replied and before I could register his movement he grabbed the discarded Coke can and threw the remaining soda on me. My mouth fell open in astonishment and he laughed as he walked over to me. He wrapped his sticky arms around me in a smothering squeeze and then rubbed his bare chest against me covering me with the remains left from the soft drink.

"Logan Huntzberger." I scolded.

"Rory Gilmore." He said back in the same rebuking tone.

"Why I ought a..."

I glared at him as I tried to form a believable threat but all thoughts escaped me. He was too damn cute standing there in nothing but boxers eagerly awaiting my playful wrath. He pulled away and backed up throwing both hands in the air and shrugging his shoulders.

"What Ace? What cha gonna do?" He taunted.

_Ace!_ My heart melted and my eyes instantly filled with tears. I hadn't heard him call me my favorite nickname in months and hearing this term of endearment coming from his lips filled me with a beautiful collage of emotions. _Hope. _That one word played throughout my thoughts and filled my heart with joy. It was the resounding emotion I'd found in his playful taunt. It was the emotion that had meant the most, the emotion I now clung to.

"Rory?" Logan asked me questioningly.

I smiled knowing I'd been quite for too long.

"Ace. You called me Ace."

He smiled back.

"Yeah I guess I did now didn't I?"

He walked back over to me and placed both hands on my cheeks. His brown eyes met mine and my entire world seemed to exist for this moment and this moment alone.

"Rory, you'll always be my Ace."

I didn't even attempt to stop the oncoming tears. Instead I embraced them as I embraced him in another sticky hug. We stood still in silence for a few moments hold tightly to one another. I finally pulled myself together and pulled back away from him. I stood to my tiptoes and placed a quick kiss on the tip of his nose.

"Logan." I said with an intentional sweetness drenching my words as I planted both feet flatly on the cold tile floor.

"Yeah babe?"

I placed my hand on his sticky chest and playfully pushed him away from me.

"You need a shower." I said with impish disgust written on my face, wrinkling my nose for added effect.

He smirked at me and then laughed loudly before replying.

"I agree, I do."

He ran his hand across his chest showing the same disgust with his own expression. He turned towards the bathroom and I couldn't resist lightly smacking his cute butt as he walked away. He turned back to me and pointed a rebuking finger.

"Watch it." He said warningly.

I pulled out a barstool and took a seat.

"Oh I am! Now turn back around please." I replied moving my hand in a circular motion as I made my request known.

He smirked and complied. I leaned forward from the barstool I'd perched myself upon to take in the view.

"Mmhmh. I'm definitely watching."

I followed my saucy comment with a loud cat call. He laughed loudly shaking his head as he continued to make his way to the shower. As soon as the bathroom door closed I wasted no time knowing that I had only moments before he'd finish and return. I reached for my bag and grabbed my cell phone.

"Daughter it's four am. You better be bleeding."

My mother's voice cracked when she answered obviously unhappy to have her sleep interrupted by me, her favorite daughter.

"You ate the last strawberry pop tart!" I accused.

"What?" She asked still groggy from sleep.

"In my dream you ate the last strawberry pop tart. You know that's my favorite. Then I confronted you about and you blamed Paul Anka… Paul Anka, Mom? Paul Anka doesn't eat pop tarts. Broccoli, yes. Pop tarts, no."

During my explanation I'd rose from my chair and walked to the fridge in order to retrieve a drink. I'd eyed the Coke but opted for water deciding one disgruntled soda was enough for the night. Water in hand I sat back down on the barstool awaiting a reply. Mom's a pro at Gilmore banter but even she'd need a moment to warm up.

"Well maybe it was broccoli flavored pop tarts." She remarked playfully finally leaving behind all signs of slumber.

"Incredible!" I replied overly enthusiastic.

"Yes, well thank you."

"No I mean incredible because in my dream you said the exact same thing."

"Yes well little one, dream Lorelai is quite life like and life like Lorelai is quite dreamy. Now please tell me that's not the reason you called at this ungodly hour."

I spun the bottle cap on the dark granite countertop and then sighed deeply before answering.

"Mom I slept with Logan."

I slapped the spinning bottle cap down with my hand and closed my eyes bracing myself for her reaction.

"Well did you remember where everything goes?"

"MOTHER!" I screeched.

"Just asking, you have to admit you've been quite virginal lately. I was tempted to take a note from Tristan and start calling you Mary."

"Mom, could you please be serious?"

"Oh I am, Mary."

"Okay, hanging up now."

I had no real intention of cutting the line but I knew if I didn't rein her in the jokes would never end and we'd never really discuss this. I needed to discuss this with her. I needed advice.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry but we've already had this conversation babe. The Logan ship sailed many moons ago, remember?"

At least she was trying.

"I know that mom and of yes of course I remember."

"So what's the deal, Mary?"

Or not.

"Mary, really?"

"I didn't say which Mary. Although obviously Mary of Magdalene these days! No out with it Mary! What's on your mind?"

"Ugh, never mind Judas."

She laughed hysterically at my sarcasm.

"Mom." I scolded her again.

"What?" She asked still laughing freely.

"Mom. Serious! Please."

"Okay, Okay. What is it Rory? What's going on?"

"I don't know it's just…"

I took a deep breath searching for words to explain all the conflicting emotions I was feeling and more importantly searching for a way to ask for help. I needed to figure out what to do next. Granted our kitchen time had helped rid some of the overwhelming insecurity I'd been feeling but there was still so much unknown about where we stood and what this night had meant.

"Mom, it all happened so fast and I guess…well I guess I don't really know what it means?"

The line grew silent and the silence stirred my already frail nerves.

"What do you mean you don't know what it means? Didn't you guys talk?"

I didn't reply.

"Rory, you did talk. Didn't you?"

I couldn't bring myself to form the answer.

"Rory?"

_God how could I have been so stupid? We should have talked we should have figured this all out before…before._

"Did you guys talk, Rory? Did you talk before you slept together?"

Mom's concerned voice broke through my thoughts.

"Not exactly." I said shamefully and I placed my forehead on the cold countertop in an attempt to stifle the stress headache that was now intruding upon me.

"Oh child you are unquestionably your mother's daughter. Rory, you have to talk to him. Where is he now? Is he sleeping like the rest of mankind?"

I sighed and pulled my head up from the counter.

"No mom he's in the shower, and it's only night on our side of the world the whole other half of mankind is wide awake."

"Well take me to Tokyo."

She replied playfully to my comment and I couldn't help but smile at her humor. No matter what circumstance I find myself in there is always room for my mother's wit.

"Rory when he gets out of the shower you've gotta talk to him kid."

Her words were filled with a mother's warmth.

"I know." I replied with a heavy heart.

"You'll be fine. I know it'll all work out." She said reassuringly.

"How do you know, Mom?"

I knew she had no answer that could possibly offer me the security I so longed for but the child in me hoped my mother could save the day and keep the monsters at bay.

"Well because I asked the magic eight ball of course."

I couldn't contain the laughter that erupted from me and she in turn lost her own restraint. Once again Lorelai Gilmore was my very own superhero.

"Well if the magic eight ball said so." I somehow managed to get out between laughs.

"It did indeed." She said as our laughter quieted.

"Ok I'll rest easy then. Go back to bed mom."

"Can't, I'm in the kitchen."

_My mom in the kitchen?_

"What on earth are you doing in there?"

"Looking for broccoli flavored pop tarts."

I laughed again.

"Yummy!" I replied.

"Love you kid."

"Love you too mom. Goodnight."

"Ittekimasu."

_What?_

Satisfied that somehow things would all work out, I rose from my barstool and made my way to the bathroom door. I was still disgustingly sticky and desperate for a shower. Logan had been in there for nearly an hour that's plenty of time to get clean. I leaned in against the door and sighed when I heard the water still running. I groaned as I remembered just how long pretty boy can take occupying the bathroom. If I didn't do something about this now I'd be soda soaked until morning light.

"Hurry up, Huntzberger! I'd like to get in while the water's still hot." I shouted through the closed door.

"Yeah well unfortunately, Ace, there's a one hot shower quota in this joint, better join me if you're looking for steam!"

_Hilarious. _I rolled my eyes at his cocky pun placing my hand on the doorknob and considering his offer but I quickly decided we need more talk and less action.

"That being said I think maybe I'll wait. Sounds like the cold water would do you some good."

The water stopped and in mere seconds the door opened revealing a smirking towel clad Logan still dripping wet. He held his towel around his waist with his left hand and wrapped his right around mine pressing me into the doorframe. He bent his head down impossibly close to mine.

"_Shh. Logan, not now….Later._" He whispered seductively in my ear and then pulled away turning and walking to the bedroom.

"And she says the cold would do me good?" He remarked aloud shaking his head as he continued to walk away.

He reached the bedroom door and turned around to face me.

"Enjoy your cold shower, Ace. Think of me!"

He winked and closed the door behind him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**LOGAN POV:**

After getting dressed I set out for the kitchen planning clean up the mess I'd made. When I got there the natural male instinct of fight or flight kicked in and I begrudgingly decided against flight. I grabbed the paper towels from the counter and walked to the sink to wet them. I soaked the white paper in water and suds then began to tackle the task at hand. I started with the counters wiping there surfaces clean then made my way down the cabinets and finally to the floor.

A soft buzz brought me back to my feet. I searched the room for the noise. I turned and saw Rory's pink phone vibrating across the counter. I bent down and returned to my cleaning. A few seconds passed and the buzzing began again. I shook my head ignoring it and continued cleaning. A few more seconds and again the buzz. I smiled knowing it was undoubtedly Lorelai and that she wouldn't stop until someone answered.

I rose to my feet and walked over to retrieve the phone. The caller id flashed mommy dearest and I laughed at the weird conformation of my suspension. I opened the pink gadget.

"Hello." I answered.

"Hello darling."

I fought against a grin and shook my head in disbelief, some things, Lorelai particularly, will never change. We've not always had the best of relationships but over the years I've grown to love and respect her in so many ways. Truthfully inwardly I adore this woman. She is the reason Rory is who she is and for that I'm ever indebted to her.

"So you're not my daughter."

"No don't think so."

"Hmm. Well, where is my daughter and please if it's dirty spare me!"

I laughed. Apparently she and Rory had spoken while I was in the shower, not that I'm at all surprised by that.

"She's taking a shower, Lorelai."

"So getting clean after all the dirty, wise decision, that one's smart she is."

I shook my head in disbelief that was a joke I knew only Lorelai Gilmore was capable of.

"Would you like for me to tell her you called?"

"Yeah…Yeah do that."

I started to agree to her request and before the words came out she stopped me.

"No wait never mind, just…."

Silence filled the line.

"Just?" I Inquired.

"Logan, I'm not Emily Gilmore I swear but…" Her tone became serious and her words were rushed.

_Emily Gilmore? _

"But?" I asked hesitantly not sure if I really wanted the answer.

"But… just…"

She paused again. _God Gilmore women can be so frustrating._

"Talk to her please, you guys need to talk."

I exhaled deeply not offended by her statement simply concerned. She was absolutely right. Rory and I desperately needed to discuss what had happened earlier tonight but everything in me shied away from that conversation knowing it couldn't be what either of us wanted it to be, knowing that conversation would undoubtedly change everything.

"Right." I agreed somberly.

I paused and collected my sensible resolve.

"We will I promise." The words were forced at best.

"Okay thanks…and Logan…"

_Ugh, Gilmore's and their dramatic pauses!_

"Yeah?"

"I've missed you kid."

I smiled grateful to hear I wasn't the only one and then my smile turned to an evil grin. Being with Rory for three years was not without effect.

"Yeah missed you too, Emily. Oh, I mean Lorelai." I joked.

"Hey, Hey! Those are fighting words mister." Her tone rose as she playfully rebuked me.

"No, no. No fight I surrender my white flag is up." I said through laughter.

"Yeah you better. No man stands a chance against a Gilmore girl."

"Don't I know."

"Well don't you forget it!"

"Goodnight, Lorelai."

"Goodnight, Logie."

"Hey!"

"Yeah, yeah, white flag." And with that she hung up the phone.

I placed the phone inconspicuously back on the countertop and decided to return to my cleaning. I was flooded with overwhelming anxiety knowing Rory would be out of the shower soon and I'd have to fulfill my promise to Lorelai.

My mind spun through millions of possibilities and I worked to process through each one. Truthfully this whole night was still utterly surreal to me and I found it difficult to think rationally about all that had happened. I was still floating with joy and impossibly happy to have her back. My heart fought adamantly against my head as logic and reason drowned my bliss in a confusing mix of frustration and angst.

I knew Rory and I had so many things to discuss, so many things that had to be dealt with before we could even flirt with the possibility of reconciliation. Our lives had changed over the last few months. We weren't the same people we were in college. I was here in California working to make a name for myself in the business world and Rory had been following her dreams pursing journalism. We had entirely new lives in two completely different parts of this big world. Painfully part of me wondered if we'd gone in different directions, directions that were so opposing to one another we may never find each other again.

"Cold Chinese?" I asked as Rory rounded the corner and met me in the kitchen.

"Oh, Logan. You know the way to a woman's heart." She said overdramatically clutching both hands over her heart and batting her eyes at me.

"Yes, I am quite the ladies man." I said as I reached behind her to open a drawer and retrieve silverware.

"Is that so?" She asked taking the silverware I'd just gotten from me and putting it back in the drawer, then reaching in one of the plastic bags still full of food and grabbing chopsticks.

"So they say." I replied taking the annoying utensils from her hand.

"Who says?" She inquired pawing through the bags for her favorite entrée.

I pulled her away from the counter and dug out the orange chicken handing it over to her while I searched further for her second favorite item.

"Why the ladies of course." I said eyeing her and anticipating a colorful reaction.

"Of course." Is all she said rolling her eyes as she broke into the tiny white box.

Should have known, nothing distracts Rory from food. I worked hard to remove all the boxes from the plastic bags that held them and placed them on the counter before us. I grabbed a plate from the cabinet and filled it with a variety of items. I pulled the chopsticks out of their white paper wrapper and leaned back against the kitchen island.

"Rory?" I asked between bites.

"Yeah?"

I looked up to see her concentrating hard to capture a noodle between her wooden utensils. She's so damn adorable.

"Ready to talk?"

Her brow creased and she let out a breath of frustration then quickly discarded the half eaten box to the counter. She crossed her arms over her chest and stood silently starring at me.

"Honestly?" She asked.

I met her gaze and said nothing but knew no words were needed.

"Not really." She continued.

"Why not?" I asked discarding my own food in order to focus on this much needed moment.

"I'm afraid, Logan."

In typical Rory fashion her eyes left mine and traveled to the floor in shame. I said nothing instead opted to give her time to collect her thoughts.

"I'm afraid it's gonna change things. I'm afraid that when we talk I might lose you again."

She never looked up from the floor. Her face was colored in fear and regret. I wanted to reach for her. I wanted to tell her it would be ok, that she would never lose me. I wanted to assure her nothing would change but that was a promise I knew I couldn't make. We both stood in solemn silence for moments that carried the weight of hours. She finally looked up and her tear filled blue eyes met mine.

"I don't want to lose you, Logan." She said quietly and I knew she was barely able to form the words she'd just spoken.

She once again withdrew her tear drenched eyes from my fleeting hold of them. Every instinct inside of me longed to comfort her. I wanted to protect her, to chase away her every fear.

"Baby stop it! Rory, look at me."

She continued to look down as the tears escaped her eyes and spilled down her beautiful cheeks.

"Look at me." I plead.

She sighed and pulled her eyes to mine once more. She looked so frail and helpless standing before me. Her expression was filled with remorse and insecurity and my heart absolutely broke seeing my brilliant, strong girl so terrified.

"I'm afraid too, Rory, but we've got to talk about this. We have to."

"I know." She replied and her voice cracked as her words made air.

"You're killing me woman."

She let out a soft and muffled laugh.

"Sorry." She said as she worked to plant a fake smile across her face.

It wasn't what I was looking for but I guess under the circumstances it would have to do. I closed the distance between us and swept fallen a piece of her dark hair away from her tear stained face, then settled my hand upon her cheek caressing her and hoping my touch could somehow ease her disarray. The fake smile became genuine.

"That's much better. That's my girl." I said looking deeply into her beautiful blue eyes.

We were still and quiet for another few moments just embracing the feeling of being together. I knew this feeling was the best thing in my world and that no matter what happened next I'd spend the rest of my life fighting for this.

"Am I?"

Her small voice interrupted my thoughts. _Am I?_

"What?" I asked confused by her question.

She smiled sweetly and shook her head in response to my confusion.

"Your girl. Am I your girl?"

I closed my eyes in frustration. _Talk, stupid talk, why did we have to talk?_

"Rory." I managed still unable to open my eyes and look at her, unable to face the disappointment I knew my coming words would bring.

Her question was so innocent, so perfect, so Ace. It killed me that I couldn't give her the answer I knew she wanted.

"Rory, it's a little soon for that."

I opened my eyes and saw so much pain in her expression I immediately regretted my stupid inconsiderate words.

"I only meant that we have a lot to work through." I amended trying to ease some of the pain and leave her with the hope I so wanted her to have.

Unfortunately it was doubt that filled her eyes.

"Soon. Right." She stated once again diverting her eyes from mine.

"I'm willing to try, Rory. I'm willing to try to work through it. I want to work through this."

She pulled her eyes back to my own and starred at me with fierce determination.

"I still love you, Logan."

_Oh my God._ She was making this conversation impossibly difficult. I love her of course I love her but I can't, not yet. I said nothing in response simply took a que from her and began starring uncomfortably at the floor.

"Okay, well I think that clears things up. I'm gonna go get changed and I'll...I guess I'll get out of here." She stated with anger in her tone as she turned to walk away.

_She's angry? _I didn't expect that. Hurt, confused yes but angry? I followed after her.

"Damn it, Rory. Damn it! You can't be serious."

"Excuse me?"

She replied as she bent down to the floor to pick up her jeans. She pulled them up over her hips and turned back to me.

"I say I love you and you say nothing in response! Yeah, I think I'm pretty damn serious, Logan." Her voice was full of bitter hatred.

She turned away again and began searching frantically for the match to the shoe she now clutched tightly in her left hand.

"Rory, it's just not that easy. We can't fix everything in one night, as much as I wish it worked that way, it doesn't. We've been apart for seven months. Seven months is a long time. I'm sure we've both changed. Life's happened and we can't just go right back to the way things were. We can't pretend this never happened. We can't pretend we never broke up. It doesn't work that way, Rory."

My words were rushed, frustrated, and more emotional than I liked but at least I'd gotten her attention. She'd stopped searching for her shoe and stood silently starring at me. I continued knowing I still had more I needed to say.

"You really hurt me and I've still got that to deal with."

The weight of my words nearly overcame me and I fought hard to remain composed. The pain the last seven months had caused was unmatched by any pain I'd ever felt. There was a deep wound inside of me that still throbbed with agony each time the memory of us tampered with it.

"I hurt you?...Logan, I said no but you- you're the one that walked away."

Her words and the pain in her tone nearly brought me to my knees.

"You're not the only one who got hurt. You broke my heart too. I wanted you, Logan. I wanted a life with you. I just wasn't ready for it right then and instead of giving me time…"

She paused and took a seat on the corner of the bed. Her expression was heavy with pain and the hurt I knew I'd caused her would forever haunt me.

"You walked away, you chose to walk away. Don't act like you're the only one that was affected by this. You're not you know?"

Her voice was incredulous and accusing. I swallowed hard and stifled the tears that were threating me.

"I know that, Rory." I noticed that my voice was barely audible and filled with unspoken torment.

I hated myself for ever leaving her. I hated myself for proposing before she was ready. I hated myself for being so utterly selfish. I could have stayed, I should have stayed.

"Do you? Do you know what it did to me? Do you what losing you did to me, Logan? I-I can't"

Her voice broke into quiet sobs and my chest ached with tortuous and unrelenting pain.

"I can't even describe it. I don't have words."

Weighed down by this emotional discussion I walked over and joined her on the edge of the bed.

"I know." I replied still incapable of speaking above a whisper.

"At least I know what losing you did to me."

We both sat silent for a few moments consumed by our own thoughts. Finally I turned to face her and decided to break the silence with something I needed to say, something I needed her to understand.

"Don't you see that's why we can't rush this? We've got to take time, Rory. We both need time to heal. I've lost you once. I know what that's like and I also know I can't go through that again."

She inhaled deeply and met my gaze.

"So where does leave us?" She asked.

"I'm not sure I know."

I was confused and conflicted about the entire situation. One part of me desperately longed to fix this, to forget our past and move forward without any hint of hesitation while another and more dominating part of me knew it was a lot more complicated than just that.

"I want this, Rory. You and me. You have to know I want us back but I need time."

She smiled at me lovingly and placed her soft hand on the side of my face.

"I understand, Logan. I'll wait. I'm willing to wait."

Her words filled my heart with both relief and deep regret. I stared into her piercing blue eyes and knew there was one more thing I'd yet to say.

"I should have been."

Her hand fell from my face and her eyes left mine. _Oh, no you don't Ace._ I placed a finger under her chin and pulled her gaze back to me.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you, Rory."

Tears swelled in both her eyes.

"Me too, Logan. I'm sorry I said no."

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Final thoughts: So glad to post this and get rid of it!!! That chapter was jam packed with character dialogue. That part was so much fun to write, especially the Gilmore banter! I love Lorelai! Broccoli flavored pop tarts can you say ewww? Btw for those of you new to our beloved Gilmore world…Paula Anka is Lorelai's dog. Oh and just in case you were wondering **_**"Ittekimasu" **_**Japanese phrase meaning "I'm leaving." Which I am. Later gator.**


End file.
